A 2011 Happy Birthday to all my Facebook friends

It may appear I remembered,
But the truth is, I was reminded,
And since it it don't take long,
To write a greeting, 4 words long,
A quick click on your profile page I'll do,
And wish a generic, forgettable, boring, same as the postings above and below,
"Happy Birthday To You".

Social scientist should just stop taking random expensive surveys in their research. The old ways of collecting data from actual human beings being limited by geography is no longer relevant. The advancement of Facebook has made it easy for us to reach surprising conclusions about human beings, in a matter of minutes, and cost practically nothing.

For example, I know, from my extensive list of approximately 500 friends, that 20 odd years ago, people like to have unprotected sex during the months of Jan, Feb and March. I chanced upon this startling revelation as I was struggling to write a birthday greeting for a dear friend whose special day falls in the month of November. It was a struggle as this was the 5oth time I've wished someone a happy birthday this month alone, and I've ran out of ideas as to how to differentiate my greeting, or to give it a more unique, wicked twist.

From the looks of it, plenty of people have wished my popular friend. Yet, I wonder, how many of them would have actually wished him a happy birthday if not for the reminders that Facebook sends out, as well as the cost & hassle free way of just posting a greeting on his profile page.

How it used to be done

Eons ago, when MySpace, Friendster, Facebook were unheard of, and the Internet was just an idea some crazy scientist was entertaining, people had to make phone calls to the birthday person's house (before mobile phones) to wish them. If it was somebody important, you will go out to a stationery shop a week in advance, buy a card, and post it through snail mail.

Then, when e-mails came about, and still cost about a few cents per e-mail (yup, e-mails were not always free), we could send e-cards that you had to personalise, by typing in the recipient's name.

After that, when short messaging systems became the next-big-thing, people could save on exorbitant call charges and just text message a "Happy Birthday".

Now, I don't know about you, but during these Electronic Dark Ages, I barely got a birthday greeting. With Facebook, I get much more than I've ever thought possible for someone as dull and as unpopular as me.

I put that down to the fact that Facebook have simplified the whole process of making a birthday greeting to just a click of the mouse button, and typing a quick "Happy Birthday". There is no need to drive out to your nearest store to buy a card, no need to tire your thumbs by typing in a text message, and you don't even need to worry about a selection of e-cards with different cartoons and different greetings. You can even post your birthday greeting while you are checking in on your Farmville.

Too distant, and cold? Not just yet...

However, in spite of what I've said, it still does warm my heart when I get these birthday greetings, even if they are via Facebook. Once in a while, a long lost friend may just use the opportunity to re-connect with you, or a certain special someone from a previous life may just say hi. And of course, there are also those from your buddies that makes you laugh out loud.

So I guess, keep these greetings coming (and keep posting more), maybe put in a little more effort in telling your friend how much they mean to you by making the greeting stand out, and who knows, they may reciprocate, and you may find gems on your profile page the next time you log in.