Men: Through The Ages

At his very core and essence, men has not change since the Ice Age.

As compared to the fairer gender, men has steadfastly held on the the concept of simplicity, and outright rejected all complexities that women bring to the table.

To understand men, all you need to know are three things, and believe, even in another thousand years, this will still hold true.

(Note: Read this in an "ugh ugh", Neandarthal "Cavemen" style)

1. Men like food. Preferably with meat.

2. Men like sex. Prefarably with women.

3. Men like sports. Preferably without women.

So go forth, all ye woman who claims that your men are difficult to understand, and have a more understanding and loving relationship.

THE ULTIMATE SOLUTION TO BERSIH 2.0 & ANTI-BERSIH 2.0

Give ALL of them permits!

Look, since EVERYONE wants to rally, instead of threatening forceful crackdown on protesters and refusing to approve permits to everybody, why not allow everyone to have their say, and give them the freedom to assemble and rally in peace?

Before you write me off as a nut, consider the following:

• If you issue permits for all the rallies, instead of selected ones, ONE, you will not be accused of trampling on the right to free speech, and TWO, no one can label the police force of biasness and as mere puppets of the Government.
• If you think that the Malaysian police force doesn't have the manpower to monitor the rallies if they are approved, I put it to you that it will require even more personnel to operate water cannons, swing the batons and chase protesters down the alleys, than if all that the police need to do is just to direct traffic to allow the protesters to march without being mowed down by motor vehicles. Also, I am sure for just a day, the VVIPs can zip around town without their usual police escort, and these surpluses can be utilised to monitor the rallies.
• Re-brand the rallies as a peaceful parade for 1Malaysia. Anything that is tainted by the admittedly lame slogan will definitely drive the young hippies away from the event. You can also get Dato' Siti to sing the Negaraku, and since there are already silat exponents willing to spend their day on these rallies, why not get them to stage a performance as part the parade?
• But what about the shops in the vicinity whose business will be affected, as well as the loss in potential tourism money? Well, just take a look at Mardi Gras, the St. Patrick's Day parades and how much money is generated from these events! People from all over the world flock to catch a glimpse, and shops beg for the parades to pass by their street.
• Who will sponsor such a parade though? Besides all the unproven allegations that the rallies are already funded by shadowy associations like the Canadian Allied Foundation (Canada? Seriously? What harm can a country that Southpark ridicules on a daily basis inflict on us?), has anyone considered Digi? They already have obese men dress in yellow condoms as their mascot, so why not take advantage of the notoriety that the color yellow has already gain in recent days?
• Okay okay, I hear you. Malaysians can never pull of a Mardi Gras. But what's the worst that would happen if we fail to change the rally into a fun-loving parade free from violence with the main aim of attracting bone headed tourists, most probably from Canada (and possibly be heralded as an exemplary country for free speech)? We will end up with a boring parade through the streets of Kuala Lumpur with little or no interest from the general public, not unlike our annual National Day Parade.
• Issue the permits with the condition that all rally organisers convert their rallies into marathons. I can safely guarantee that only 20% of the protesters will finish to the end of the rallies. The rest of them will just take a short cut to the finishing line and wait for lucky draws.
• And to sweeten the deal, the permits to be approved, i.e. the approved permits (also known as AP), can be sold to middle-men who can then make a lawful gain by selling it to the rally organisers, hence creating jobs and contributing to the overall economy.

So, my dear policemen and policewomen whom I both fear and respect, please consider my simple, non-convoluted and non-partisan suggestion.

Issue permits to all rallies. It's a cure for all your headaches.

In fact, since it is my birthday today, I will prove how patriotic I am by wishing that all the permits that all organisers of rallies, be it Bersih 2.0, Perkasa or Umno Youth, is finally granted, and Malaysia will be a shining beacon to the rest of the world (instead of the laughing stock that we are now - I mean, come on, banning yellow coloured T-Shirts?)

This Is Still A Men's World, Apparently (Part I)

I find it surprising that the liberal minded people of this country, who repeatedly denounces racial based affirmative policies of the Government, wasn't up in arms with the Prime Minister's announcement yesterday of a Cabinet approved target of 30% women representation in listed companies' decision making positions (i.e. board of directors).

The principles that form the foundation of calls for national laws and policies based on pure meritocracy doesn't seem to apply when it comes to the struggle for gender equality.

Where I draw similarities in both these imbalances in racial and gender share of the economic pie is given as follows:

• Both groups are perceived to be at an unfair disadvantage, a result of the many years of discrimination and bias.
• Intervention or affirmative actions by the Government is seen as necessary to correct the imbalances, such as setting quotas, awarding of contract or positions based on race/gender.
• Lofty arbitrary targets are set which are difficult to achieve especially given the missteps in implementation of these policies, leading to indefinite extension of said targets and failed policies. For example, the 30% NEP target for bumiputera's corporate ownership has been used many times by politicians to push forward affirmative policies in the name of bumiputera's economic advancement and to safeguard their interest.

Opponents of the NEP and its affirmative policies have long cried foul over the culture of corruption and cronyism that is birthed by said policies. Governing along racial lines is not limited only to equity ownership of companies, it also includes award of Government tenders, sale of real property, distribution of scholarships for tertiary education, etc. Detractors insist that these policies cripple the advancement of the country while sidelining qualified non-bumiputera companies and businessmen.

I fail to reconcile how the above arguments against affirmative actions for bumiputeras cannot be used similarly in contesting the affirmative policies for women in boardrooms. The adoption of such policies means that if a man and a woman are both similarly qualified for a vacant position at a company's board, the decision will ultimately be based on their gender.

In some extreme cases, in order to meet the Government's 30% target, an under qualified female member of the board may be appointed just to make up the quota.

Conversely, a board composition that already has 30% women representation may choose to remain status-quo, and overlook suitable women candidates without any concern of being reprimanded by the Government.

I admit though, that there is a disconnect between the number of female undergraduates and the number of female employees in the workforce. Women have excelled in education and the number of women graduates have since a number of years back, surpassed their male counterparts. This hints strongly at a discriminatory environment in the offices of corporate Malaysia, and the existence of the proverbial "glass ceiling".

However, I don't think the government's approach towards attaining equality among gender is the correct one. According to reports, the first step to be taken is to implement these targets at Government Linked Companies ("GLC"), and other government controlled/regulated organisations such as banks, financial institutions and the civil service. They will then attempt to "persuade" the public listed companies and the remaining corporate industries to adopt these targets. No definition of "persuasion" is given.

Instead of mandating arbitrary targets and forcing them down the throats of companies, the Government should instead focus on a two pronged strategy.

One, channel additional funds to organisations which provides training to aspiring women leaders of the corporate world.

Two, legislate against companies that practices discriminatory policies against women employees. A recent class action lawsuit filed in the United States against Walmart by its female employees may still be in the midst of legal battle in the Supreme Courts, but it serves as an example for companies guilty of not ridding itself of gender biased cultures.

The Managing Editor of The Malaysian Insider, Joan Lau sums it up by writing "what women want is not mandated representation [but] we want equal opportunities”.

As can be observed from the implementation of affirmative economic policies, blind adherence to a subjective target and a misguided approach will lead to a disequilibrium wreck that is the condition of our country, where only the top few percentages are enriched while the income gap between the poor and the rich further widens. Similarly, questions should be asked if such policies to compel a target on women representation in companies is immediately worthy of applause and revere.

(Note: For the record, I believe that it is unnecessary for me to state that I am not a chauvinistic pig. You may form your own opinions of me. After all, I had the freedom to express mine.)

Chinese, Indian or Anak Malaysia? I Ask, Does It Matter ?

With Fathers' Day just two days away, it might not seem as surprising that there is a growing sense of entitlement among fathers of the world, whether or not they are deserving of such accolades and gifts.

However, the recent story involving Subang Jaya assemblywoman Hannah Yeoh and her husband, who is of Indian descent, and their decision to register their newly born daughter as "Chinese", after failing to firstly register her as "anak Malaysia", and failing again in their attempt to leave the race column blank, which had some parties up in arms, reeks of the stench of dirty politics, racial and gender intolerance, and plain stupidity, rather than the warm father-daughter stories that fills the fourth estate during such festive times.

Stupidity No 1 - The Memorandum

"Earlier, scores of Indians from various non-governmental organisations in Petaling Jaya handed over a memorandum to Lim at the MCA complaints bureau here."

Who has so much spare time that they can draft and submit a memorandum on a personal decision made by parents for their own child? This is clearly a matter that should be decided by no one else but the child's parents, and anybody who tries to impose their values and beliefs on others often merely reveal themselves to be bigots (in this case, bigots who would rather waste their time on writing memorandums on things that do not concern them than on issues that do).

Maybe the Chinese community should also write a memorandum demanding that the courts annul the marriage, as her decision to marry outside her race has demeaned the Chinese.

While we are at it, I would gladly write a memorandum protesting her decision to marry a man, which demeans the womenfolk, and is clearly a political ploy to get support from the male voters.

To the Memorandum Writing Mobile!

Stupidity No 2 - The Sexist Card Played

"The group's spokesman P. Balakrishnan said Yeoh's husband Ramachandran Muniandy had demeaned the Indians by not standing up for his right to decide the race of his child.

He urged the NRD to cancel the baby's birth certificate and issue a fresh one identifying her race as “Indian”."

In case this point wasn't made clearly in the preceding paragraph, this matter should be resolved solely by a joint decision by both the father and mother of the child without coercion of influence of others (except maybe nosy mother-in-laws).

A joint-"decision" made by mutual agreement by the parents, and in this case, the mother has as much right as the father to "decide the race of the child". It is neither stated in any judicial precedent or constitution that the father has an inalienable right  to "decide" on matters such as this, and it is definitely not the right of any community or group to make this "decision" as well.

Stupid No 3 - "Deciding" On A Race Is An OxyMORON.

To be absolutely clear, race is not religion. One cannot choose your race, even if one is of mixed parentage. Children from mixed marriages may have documents that says so otherwise, but when your DNA and genes consist of more than one race, I am sorry, you are of mixed race. As an adult of sound mind, I cannot just decide one day to change my race from Chinese to the obviously much superior race, the Caucasians.

Unless one can scientifically prove that the child is more Indian than Chinese, that she will grow up to have darker skin rather than yellow, or have big and beautiful eyes rather than small ones, how can anyone say that registering her as one race and not the other is wrong?

Stupidity No 4 - The Politic Card Rears Its Ugly Snake Infested Head

"Selangor MCA has expressed its sympathy to the Indian community who are unhappy with Subang Jaya assemblyman Hannah Yeoh over the racial identity of her newborn baby girl.

“Her husband is an Indian and it is customary to name the child's ethnicity as Indian,” he said, adding the assemblyman's initial stance to define her baby as anak Malaysia (child of Malaysia) was politically motivated."

Of course if was politically motivated!

It was all part of a grand evil plan, right from the boring conception process till the painful and laborious process of, erm, labour, Hannah's intention of having a baby is to score valuable political points.

In fact, her whole marriage is a farce, a scam to make inroads into the Indian community amd gain political mileage and their precious votes come election time. By marrying one of their own, her depraved and despicable intention was to be accepted by the Indian voters.

Now that her insidious schemes have been uncovered by the obviously politically-neutral and heartbroken-over-plight-of-Indians Selangor MCA, and it's advisor, Datuk C.K. Lim, rumor has it that she intends to divorce her husband and abandon her daughter, lie low for a short period of time, then emerge with another evil plan to marry someone from the Malay race.

Stupidity No 5 - The Parents

Marriage in itself already presents an infinite amount of challenges. Factor in mixed race marriages, political ambitions and living your life under public scrutiny, and you have a fairly combustible combination.

Is it too unreasonable to expect that the topic of the resulting union's children be brought up for discussion much earlier in the marriage, or better still, the pre-I Do stage? A reasoned discussion held prior to the birth between the parents can then be shared with the public, in case a small group of busy bodies who purports to represent a community questions the parents' decision.

Is it also unreasonable to expect that an experienced elected politician to know that the moment you opt to register your child as "anak Malaysia", you will be stirring up the proverbial hornet's racial nest and have everything including the Federal Constitution thrown at the general direction of your face?

Furthermore, "anak Malaysia" was your first choice? How about "Indian-Chinese"? "Chinese-Indian"? Even "dan lain-lain" would have been less controversial than "anak Malaysia".

For full story on this non-issue, please refer to the article in The Star:
http://www.thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2011/6/17/nation/8918687&sec=nation

DOODLES...Pancake & Elephant

Imperfect in many ways, but still proud enough for it to be shared with the world.

Copyright © 2011 Tan Jia Shiun. All rights reserved.

Untitled - III

Life is short.

Each day is too precious to be wasted on not doing things that you absolutely love to do.

Each day is too valuable to be spent doing things which at the end of it all, you can't say that you have lived a remarkable life.

WORLD OCEANS DAY - SEATRU at CHAGAR HUTANG

Today is World Oceans Day, and I figure it would be a suitable time to pen down my experiences with one of its oldest and most mysterious inhabitants, the sea turtles.

Being a participant stuck the endless corporate rat race, I was sold by the idea of being marooned for eight days, on a small quaint private beach named Chagar Hutang, Redang Island, sequestered from the outside world, with no cellular phone reception,  no daily newspapers, and no contact with anyone else other than my fellow volunteers, the research assistants, the two caretakers and our nightly guests who crawls up the sandy beaches to nest.

Our days were filled with performing chores around the research center, such as recording the position of the new nests in relation to the grids on the beach, patrolling for egg predators like ghost crabs or monitor lizard, and cleaning the beach. In between all this, we were able to lounge around the hammocks, and catching up on books that we meant to read but never had the time to (for the record, I devoured within a week, Freakanomics by by Steven D. Levitt & Stephen J. Dubner, Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell, and Animal Farm by George Orwell).

Things got interesting at night though, when the nesting hours begin.

We start recording data once the turtles land on the beach. We recorded the time that lapsed between her landing and the commencement of the body-pitting process, the depth of the nest once she starts laying her eggs, the length and width of its carapace (that's the top part of her shell, for the uninitiated) and mark the nest for further work the next morning.

If the nesting turtle has been previously tagged on its front fins, the tag numbers are also jotted down. If not, well, volunteers are also trained to perform tagging in the absence of the research assistants or the caretakers (A tip for future taggers, do not flinch just because the fins move, and neither should you blame those who were holding up the torch lights for you).

I remember the first night we spent on the beach. A comforting silence was shared among us while we laid on the mats placed upon the uneven sand, gazing at the billions of stars lighting up the clear heaven skies. It was truly a humbling experience. The cloudless skies even gave me a glimpse of a streaking shooting star, a sight rarely seen in the smog filled and light polluted city skies.

How many of us can truly say that we have fallen asleep beneath the twinkling stars, only to be softly woken up by falling raindrops or the sounds of sand gently displaced by the strong fins of a sea turtle crawling up the beach?

The sea turtles were another sight to behold. Large and weighing over 100 kilograms each, these ancient gentle giants returns every nesting season to the same beach on which they were hatched many years ago. I've had the priviledge of observing turtles both on land and in the sea. Early in 2011, I swam with a couple of sea turtles in Pulau Perhentian, trying to keep up while the turtles swam effortlessly right underneath me. While they may seem clumsy and slow on land, in the water, they glide gracefully from feeding at the bottom of the sea bed to the surface of the sea for air.

There were other experiences to be had at Chagar Hutang other than the turtles. We were given a guided hike up a hill for an aerial view of Turtle Rock, and on days when our feet yearns for a little pampering, we headed to the natural prawn spa, where baby prawns at a stream nibbles away at the dead skins around any part of your body that you dare dip in. Beware, it is intensely ticklish! 

On our final day, we were extremely lucky that one of the turtles decided to hang around till the morning sun dawned on us. This gave us the opportunity to quickly snap a photo of us with the turtle, without the burst of camera flashes which could potentially scare the little critter, especially in the dark covers of the night.

The good people of SEATRU ("Sea Turtles Research Unit") and UMT ("University Malaysia Terengganu") have been tireless in promoting the awareness of sea turtle conservation. They are one of the eco-warriors that we must recognise and applaud, more so on World Oceans Day.

So for what it is worth, go find out more about the various programs that SEATRU have for different folks from different age groups, and if you are willing to, sign up for the volunteer program and I can assure you that it will be an experience that you will treasure (and maybe even blog about...) for the rest of your life.

Please visit the following sites:

• SEATRU's official website: http://seatru.wordpress.com/
• My take on ocean conservation, sharks and their greatest enemy: http://wheretimeisnot.blogspot.com/2011/05/blue-is-new-green.html