Being a CAN MAN (saying "yes" or "okay" too fast)

Are you a "Can Man"?

Do you say "Yes" more often than "No"?

Do you say "Yes" much faster than you say "No"?

If you are one of the kind of people who says "Yes", "Okay", or "Can" without even giving a thought about the consequences of what you are agreeing to, you may be suffering from:

1. A low self-esteem
2. A non-confrontational personality
3. A slow brain
4. All of the above

If you are number 3, then chances are, there are no chance for you. And if you are number 4, then you need to check yourself into suicide watch, cos you are a high risk candidate for depression and suicidal tendencies.

Now, if you are 1 or 2, however, I'm proof that there is hope for improvement and change.

Being brought up in an Asian society with values that favors humility, humbleness and the right of the majority, we are programmed to be a very agreeable race of people. We would rather shy away from the spotlight while and go about our business with as little noise as possible.

This will lead to a many different number of problems.

In your workplace, where the highest percentage of your daily interactions take place, there are constant requests/instructions that you have to deal with. Some may fit within your job descriptions, some may be ultra-vires. How a Can Man usually respond to this is by saying okay to every request, every deadline, without any consideration of whether he can actually be able to fulfill it. The Can Man would usually delude himself into thinking, "it's okay, I will accept first, so that I don't seem completely useless, and I'll somehow fit it into my already hectic schedule. I CAN make it work" In a way, the Can Man says "can" to the soft voice inside his head that is asking him to reconsider.

When the Can Man eventually realises that he just doesn't have the resources, he not only gives himself unnecessary stress, but will end up doing a sub-par job and still end up disappointing the requester.

In a relationship with your partner (the mother of all complex human interactions), saying Yes too fast is also detrimental not just to the Can Man, but to the overall relationship.

When you say "Yes" without meaning it, you are telling a lie, which will either lead you to doing something that you don't feel like doing, making yourself hate yourself and blaming your partner for asking you to do it in the first place, or it will make your partner distrust or resents you when you don't follow up on your promise.

So what do you do if you find the above situations familiar?

1. Think before you reply. Think before you talk. In fact, think before you do anything.
2. Do not be afraid to say "No" even to those whom has the authority to either withhold your salary, or withhold sex from you.
3. Learn to say "Yes, BUT...." in situations where you just cannot say "No" and give yourself some extra time to complete the task, or to cut down on the scope of the task.
4. Learn also to say "No, BUT..." when you can provide alternative solutions (or alternative people) to complete the task requested.

A Can Man, although rare, may however find success in saying "Yes" to every request as this may seemingly demonstrate an ability to solve problems, and they may gain the reputation as someone people can rely on to get things done. Promotions and increments (and more morning kisses and breakfast in bed) may very well depend on this, but this is a dangerous game to play.

So, the next time before you say "Yes" to anything, stop yourself and use that part of your head that is so rarely used to think, should you be saying "No" instead?

Don't be a pushover. Don't be a carpet for people to walk all over. Don't be a CAN MAN.

CERCLE VICIEUX (Part One)

I stumbled upon a realisation last Friday night after plying myself with several pints of beer in the company of my colleagues.

While having another round of our ritualistic weekly cerebral discussions about our chosen profession (some chosen by themselves, some chosen by their parents, some chosen by their non-existing wealth - all chosen nonetheless), we came to our favorite topic, what is lacking in our industry, and what can be done to improve it.

First, a disclaimer. The following is neither a researched nor an educated dissertation of the industry. It is merely the opinion of a lowly employee with little experience and exposure, and is most probably not reflective of the truth.

Now, where were we? Oh yeah.

The "cercle vicieux" alluded to in the title represents the unending process in which we try to break from stagnated mediocrity to achieve high performance, and all the challenges and brickwalls in between. It is the age old "chicken or egg" conundrum.

In every industry where the main product you are selling is a service, an intangible consultative advice, the differentiation between you and your closest competitor is the quality of the work you deliver.

To achieve and maintain a high level of quality in our work, we need to invest in highly qualified employees as well as lower the attrition rate.

Retaining employees means providing incentives for them to stay. It means rewarding them more than what the outside market can offer.

To pay a premium on remuneration for their employees, firms have to be able to generate sufficient revenue, i.e. higher fees, and to charge a higher fee, they have to convince their clients that they in fact paying for quality work, which brings us back again to how do we achieve quality work.

Now, the reverse holds true as well. If firms are not differentiated via quality, they are differentiated by price. In an equal playing field, the cheapest one wins.

So, firms low-ball the fees that you charge, which in turn means less revenue, which leads to lower cash to provide incentives and attract and retain high quality employees, which of course results in the deterioration of work quality.

If all the industry players do the same to ensure they remain competitive, well, total industrial quality goes down hill, and clients will demand for lower fees to be charged, and voila, you get a circle.

(to be continued)

No offence intended...

In case any of my random blog postings offends anyone, please note that this is merely a satirical take on my views of the things that happens around me, things that I am familiar with.

It may surprise you that amongst all these negativity and ranting about what is wrong with the world and the people that inhabits it, I actually have quite a sunny disposition, and I do enjoy the times when I get to just have interesting funny conversations, share jokes, and play fun games.

So, if any of my family members, close friends, colleagues or bosses happen to chance upon something I have written and took offence to my opinions, please understand that most of them are written in jest and the irony within the context is highly exaggerated.

I do appreciate feedback and comments and the occasional jostling of ideas and opinions, so feel free to reply and respond, without fear and restriction. God knows how little people would actually read what I write.

How to pay off your credit card debt

The main mantra that one should adopt when faced with seemingly insurmountable personal credit card debts is "maximise cash inflow, minimise cash outflow". The result of doing so should all then be channelled into paying down your credit card debt.

Maximising cash inflow

1. Work smart in your current job to increase the potential quantum of reward from your employers. This could be in the form of a promotion, an increment, a bonus etc.

2. Monetising your hobbies/talents, whether this is via writing part time for online journals, providing photography services, selling artwork online, trading collectibles (comics, cards, stamps, postcards), or any other variety of money making ventures.

3. Selling things that you no longer need i.e. books, magazines, comic books, toys.

4. Ensuring that you are making timely and accurate expense claims from your company to ensure you are not subsidising the operations of the company inadvertently.

Minimising cash outflow

1. Learn to say no. Whether it is to your nearest and dearest, or to a colleague or a distant acquaintence, it is best that you cut down on social activities, weekend getaways, and outings of any sort that involves money coming out from your wallet. This is especially true if you are the most senior of the lot, or the only guy, and your pride dictates that you either foot the bill before charging others, or (gasp..even worse) giving an all out treat.

2. Look in the mirror and if one of the reason that you have accumulated the mountain of debt is that you spend a huge sum of money on food every month, at the same time putting on excess weight that is pushing you towards obesity, it's time to go on a diet. That way, your wallet grows fatter while you get thinner (and healthier). Some dieting adjustment such as cutting down on sushi, western food like chicken chop, spaghetti or fish & chips, premium priced coffee and beverages, while increasing intake of greens (which always cost less than meat) and sticking to just plain water, is not beyond anybody.

3. Don't buy on impulse. And impulse can last for months! That DSLR camera that you want, and that you keep finding excuses to buy, can wait! It will be a guilt-free purchase if you buy it only AFTER you settle your debts. Rationalise, especially when you are at your weakest and most vulnerable, and when you are faced with various promotions, and friends who are already owning the latest gadgetary. Remember, it's not the equipment that matters, rather the artist behind the equipment that makes the difference.

4. Stop incurring fines. Drive safe on the road. Don't get into fender benders that may set you back a couple of hundred. Don't beat the red light and you don't have to bribe the policeman.

How to make an auditor happy.

1. Tell him that he is technically sound.

2. Exempt him from writing appraisals for one year. Conversely, change all appraisals into Multiple Choice Questions (MCQ) where all you need to do is select options which are already presented to you.

3. Exempt him from doing up his timesheet for one year (or even a month). This can be easily solved if technology is sped up to catch up with our expectations. An application that tracks how long you spend on an audit file would be more than sufficient to replace the tedious task of manually filling up a timesheet.

4. Give him staff that have no life and no study leave.

5. Fill up the pantry with better food and drinks, preferably things that can be categorised as intoxicants.

6. Give hum a gym, a basketball court, a pool table, or just something for him to hit, punch, kick and scold.

7. Install a stand alone air conditioner to be used when the building's centralised air conditioners are switched off.

8. Shower room. To stay fresh. And smell free.

9. Pay him more so that it doesn't seem like slave labour as compared to his ex-highschool friends who are in the IT line or is a lawyer.

Hate post #1

This is a rant. This rant is not targeted at any particular race, creed, gender or sexual preference. Rather, this is a rant targeted at people that annoys the hell out of me. People that for reasons, maybe known or unknown to them, infuriates me and makes me wonder what kind of upbringing they have that turns them into such irritating beings. Yes. My rage and annoyance goes beyond the very people that annoys me and strikes against their parents, families and ancestries.

1. People that speaks with English with a pretentious foreign accent.

...in a Starbucks coffee shop, where everyone is either reading a book or on their laptops, and only their conversation fills the lounge. It almost makes me wish Starbucks would play their boring indie music to drown out the incessant yawn-inducing small talk between the aforementioned "slangy" guys. Look, speaking like that not only peeves people within hearing distance, but it also makes you seem effeminate and gay, which is fine if you are, but it still annoys me. So there.

2. People who calls themselves photographers just because they have a credit card that allows them to buy a DSLR on credit.

A bonafide photographer knows that originality counts the most. So, taking that picture of the rice field or a hill (which you just painfully lugged your bag that contains your lenses and tripod) where probably a thousand people plus your aunt has snapped before you does not make you a photographer. Not when you still spend your days on a desk running up spreadsheets while dreaming someone pays you to snap their photos. Pictures tell a story if it is snapped by an inspired photographer. Show me a picture of a flower that you snapped just because you think it'll be interesting to prove you understand depth of field and I'll use it as a coaster for my daily drink of whisky.

3. "Click-and-post" happy people

The juggernaut of cheap cameras and the growing number of people who use Facebook has given birth to a new online societal bane, the uncensored posting of photos online. This causes a wide number of annoyance, especially if it is a photo of you that you were not aware was being taken, and is now being shared with the millions of netizens (or the 3 people that actually cares about the postings of you on Facebook).

4. People who calls other people "mate" just because they spent a year or two in Australia.

And also, those who calls another person whom they are disagreeing with "mate" or any other terms of fake affection. This is just way too condescending.

Untitled - I

We fear the unknown and what lies beyond. We fear knowing too. The paradoxes are incredible and irreconcilible. Do we want it to end or do we want it to last forever?

Is it even something worth pondering. When it ends, if this is all it is, wouldn't we feel nothing? No joy. No despair. No elation. No hopelessness. No salvation. No fear. No forever.

No fear. That's tempting isn't it? No fear means no more fearing and dreading the night. Fearing the sensationless that we feel (or don't feel) when we sleep. That this would be how it would be when this ends.

Does this stem from irrationality, or the want to rationalise everything?

Work is a great cure. So is love. And fun things that you like to do. Of course it helps that our energy has limits and eventually, we run out of it at the end of the day and we need to sleep. And one day, sleep will come.