I have taken it upon myself to hold your hands and walk you towards the greatest truth, the higher awareness, that realisation that when you are playing Angry Birds on your iPhone, you are a few rungs lower on the social ladder than us Blackberry users.
There are many reasons why a Blackberry is better than an iPhone, and these are the top 4 reasons:
1. We go both ways
One of the widest used application by users of both iPhone (let's call these people "the jesters") and Blackberry (and to keep with the medieval theme, let's call these elite group "the knights") is the free message service Whatsapp. However, knights can switch effortlessly from Whatsapp to BBM (short for Blackberry Messenger), while jesters have to be satisfied with just one miserable free message application.
2. We don't do queues
Everytime a new model of the iPhone is launched, there will be the usual Mardi Gras-like festivities and marketing scams, and the jesters fall in line to buy the phones, even resorting to spending the night in shopping malls just to ensure they are one of the first to own an iPhone. What inevitably follows is that just a few weeks after the launch, when the hype dies down, one can just walk into any dealer during your lunch break and make a purchase. Lambs..
3. We are anti-government
What does a middle east dictator fear more than an uprising or protest in a neighbouring country? Citizens with Blackberries.
In 2010, UAE and India announced that they are contemplating banning the usage of Blackberries because the emails and messages that are transmitted through these devices are "highly secured" and its "proprietary data transmissions mechanism" is centered in the soviet-like secretive state of Canada. What does all this mean? I don't know myself, but all I know is that if there ever is a World War III, the knights will be in the control room sending out encrypted messages to allies, while the jesters will be sent out to the front line as human ammunition.
4. Only the cool people get it
Look around you. Think about the coolest friend that you have. Chances are you are thinking of me. Now, look at the smartphone that I am using.
Now, think about the second coolest person in the world. Chances are you are thinking of Barack Obama. Try and guess which smartphone he is using.
Finally, think about Justin *brrrrr Bieber. Imagine sitting among his fans in his concert. 90% of those fans will be using iPhones. They will also be screaming his name, proclaiming their love for him. Now, would you want to use the same phone as them? I didn't think so.
Regards,
Sir Justin
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