Sunday, September 4, 2011

Belum: An Adventure Of James Bond Proportion (Part 1)

On 31 August 2011, at precisely 7.00 a.m. (give or take an hour for the chronically late), 43 members of the covert group, codenamed "the Kuans", set out on a treacherous journey to the northern most part of Perak, close to the Thailand tumultuous southern borders, in search of adventure, danger and a good time with family.

This is their story.

The two black cars lie awaiting in the streets under the first break of dawn - waiting to join the rest of the convoy in Rawang's highway rest stop.



Breakfast was a spread of nasi lemak, mee goreng, sandwiches, hard boiled eggs, yam cake, sausage buns.

Three tables were quickly filled underneath the white tent, which shielded its temporary visitors from the morning downpour.



There were many operatives who doubled up as waiters, distributing the food and helping to buy drinks. An elder of the group played disc jockey ("DJ") by blasting Mandarin classics from a portable music player (even though this was bound to irritate our fellow Muslim highway travellers who was, no doubt, in their Raya mood) and one channeled his inner janitor by helping to clean up after everyone else.


The sumptuous meal was concluded with the game of "passing around the sandwiches from car to car".


Out of the 9 cars, 4 were given the responsibility of ensuring ongoing communication by utilising the state-of-the-art walkie-talkies, a device thwarted only by a distance of more than 2 km and mountainous terrain. A challenge, considering Ipoh is known for its numerous limestone hills.

Communication was imperative to keep not just the driver awake, but to prevent anyone else in the car from getting a good rest. Of course, the usual reminders to prayers were not forgotten, and seeing how racism is not on the agenda, the Azan, the Buddhist chants of "Namoametabha" and even an Indian song were repeatedly announced over the aforementioned walkie talkie.

Before long, the Kuan's set up camp at another rest stop, this time just after the Ipoh toll exit.



Just like breakfast a mere 2 hours ago, food was distributed to the worn and weary, an entire pagoda was colonised and the announcement that the Kuans are Chinese and are proud of it was again made via the blasting of songs by the late great Theresa Teng.




The many challenges the Kuans faced on the road such as their growling stomachs (strange considering the amount of ration already consumed in the previous two stops) "forced" them to set up camp in Lenggong for lunch of fresh fish and delicious pork chops...




...and then later at Gerik for coffee, and for those who were famished again, toasted bread with butter and kaya  and prawn noodles (verdict for prawn noodles and toasted bread, average, although you wouldn't have guessed that by the number of empty plates and bowls left on the tables).


What was supposed to be a four and a half hour journey took the Kuans close to seven hours, and by the end of the day, some were secretly glad that the midnight trekking through the jungle was called off due to unfavorable weather.

On 1 September 2011, the hunt for the elusive tribes of aborigines (known locally as "orang asli" or the original people") and their highly protected medicinal plant, the Rafflesia (although it was later revealed that the plant has been proven years ago to cause kidney and liver failure if consumed, in other words, no different from beer) began by boat.


Within half an hour, the aboriginal settlements were located.

Women and children were kept out of harm's way...


...while the men tried to keep the Kuans away by using their magic blow darts.




Will the Kuans quest for friendship (or at worst, diplomatic relationship) with the aborigines ultimately end in failure?

Will they survive the onslaught of magic blow darts blown with immense accuracy by men dress in pink (sounds wrong, like http://www.men-in-pink-blows.com/ wrong)?

Will the men of Cheah Company and Tan Company finally find the cure for baldness in the form of Rafflesia powder?

Watch out for the Part 2 of this incredible journey into the heartlands of Perak.

Roger and OUT.

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