Listicles - The List of 7 Lists To End All Lists aka The List You Have To Read

I hate listicles. No, wait. I love listicles. No, I abhor them. I can't make up my mind. What do you call a relationship where you love and hate the other person at the same time?

Ah yes.

A marriage.

Some might wonder what a "listicle" is. Well, it is not a lipstick for balls, since calling that slam-dunk of a product a "lipsticle" would make more sense. Come to think of it, this is a money-making idea! I am trademarking "Lipsticle - For Women" - When applying lipsticks on your lips is just more fun for your men.

No. A listicle is an article, or what passes for one nowadays, made up almost entirely of a list. For example, just scrolling down Facebook, one is bound to come across links to listicles with titles such as "Top Ten Rules Every Marriage Should Live By" or "Six Ways To Get Ripped For The Summer".

It is a boon for writers and writers wannabes since it is so easy to write. Grammar are usually thrown out of the window. Structural no sense it needs to make. there is no need to worried about punctuation there is NO NEED TO PAY HEED TO CAPITALISATION.

It is however, a form of writing that is so easy that many budding writers are jumping on to the bandwagon (or "bad"wagon, as I like to call any trend that annoys me. Haha. I am so funny). Online magazines and websites are publishing them by the truckloads since publishing nowadays means clicking a button and releasing 'em articles into the public domain, fingers-crossed, hopping that they go viral. This has inevitably lead to good listicles, rare as they may be, getting lost among the rubbish ones.

The digital generation is also to blame for the rise and rise of the listicles. People just do not have the necessary attention span to read anything that takes more than five minutes. In fact, if you are still reading this at this point, Congratulations! You are only two out of ten who has stuck with me this far. The other eight have flipped me off and switch their mobile screens to Flappy Bird.

So what is an aspiring peddler of words to do in the face of such literature calamity?

Well, join them of course.

The following is a list of listicles that in my humble and yet infuriatingly spot-on opinion, have been recycled and regurgitated too many times, and listicles that I really wish writers would write:

1. 10 Reasons Why My Marriage Rules, and Your Marriage Sucks
2. 12 Pictures of Muscled/Lean Men/Women doing Workouts That You Will Never Do
3. 64 Reasons Why He Hates You (But Is In Love With Your Whore of a Good Friend) (Tip: You make all your friends look hotter just by standing next to them)
4. 78 Reasons Why Listicles Are Making People Think They Are Writers (and a bonus 10 Reasons Why They Are Not)
5. 241 Reasons Why Every Writer Should Love Writing Listicles
6. 2 Reasons Why I Hate Listicles
7. 892 Reasons Why People Don't Give A Rat's Arse About This List

So why did I only list seven things in my listicle? Well, I had reached seven, and then something more interesting than writing came up on the television (the Real Housewives of Melbourne). That is one more advantage of the listicle. You can stop anytime you want and no one can accuse you of quitting halfway.

Yeah. I definitely love listicles.