The Anatomy Of A Maiden Run

Before the race

You switch back and forth between fear of somehow having a disastrous race to delusional thoughts of possibly coming in at a position that gets you a medal.

On the morning itself, you wake up at 6 am, on a Sunday morning no less, regretting, thinking what have you gotten yourself into, and whether the gods will have mercy on your unfit physique and let rain fall on the 11 KM of soft grass and tarred road.

You grab a can of Red Bull, a Milo, anything that advertisers claim helps increase your energy level, and illogically prays that these are magic potions which serves to replace weeks and months of actual training.



Flag off

You look at the runner on your right. You look at the runner in front of you. You don't bother to even look at the runner to your left, because you know the odds are that he, as well as the rest, look more in shape that you have ever been in your life. You turn up the volume of Chester Bennington's screams from your handphone, hoping to drown out the thought of the titanic task in front of you. As you cross the sensor located at the starting line, grunting as you try to avoid knocking into the runners around you, you give yourself one last pat on the back, thinking "well, I'll just try not to come in last".

After 3 KM

So far, so good. You are not running as fast as you can. Your pacing is still bearable. You are still breathing through your mouth, which you have been told is a no no, but heck it, you've need a lot of oxygen, and your nostrils aren't as large as the hole you call your mouth. You still have the energy to check out the runners of the fairer sex. Hey, ladies in short running shorts, can you really fault a hot blooded male for checking them out?

After 5 KM

WHAT?! Just past the half way point? AND you have been walking for the past 1 KM. You kick yourself for signing up for this. And did that elderly man just sprint past you? And he is barefooted! How is that possible?

After 7 KM

Your running vest is dry now, since you have been walking more than running.

Suddenly you hear a race marshal shouting out encouragement, "4 more KM to go ONLY". You think of all the 4 KM that you did in the gym on the treadmill within 30 minutes. There is a glimmer of hope yet, that you may end the race strongly. You start to run again, sprinting even, at times.

What you do not know is that running 4 KM at the beginning is different from running 4 KM at the end. You realise that soon enough when you stop, panting for breath, just meters away within earshot of the marshal who continues with her words of encouragement.

Last 2 KM

"Up, down, up, down". The undulating roads of the final lap. You chant this, as if in a trance, with your left leg stepping forward when it's "up" and your right, when it's "down". At this point, it is "girls, what girls?". You don't even care that you are making moaning sounds that places the other runners in discomfort.

Last 1 KM

You feel a sharp pain in your right knee. Your left toe have developed blisters that you can feel through the thick socks that you bought just the day before. There is a gravel in your shoe. You can't tell which shoe though, since your feet is practically numb. You start hobbling a little, afraid you might sprain your knee and you can't even finish the race. You are so close now. Just one more hill, one more incline, and the finish line will be within sight.

By now, you see people in the opposite direction with medals already walking (some running still, b**tards) back to their car. A marshal with a balloon shaped like a sausage with some message you no longer are able to read stands by the roadside. You hit the balloon with your right palm for good luck.

Crossing the finish line

You walk past the finish line. You don't celebrate. Yet. You just want to find a place to sit. Grab a drink. Maybe some food. But mostly, you just want to sit.

You reflect on what you just did. Not bad, eh? You start to forget how difficult it was. You only remember the times when you started to walk instead of run. The times when you could have ran a little faster. Maybe next time if you push yourself harder, a medal may be yours?

Guess what people say is true. You probably will not regret the things you did, but the things that you didn't do.

The Ugly Duck

The ugly duckling who did not grow up to be a beautiful swan.

Men gone down

What's the point in playing if you don't care about winning?

Tonight, the vanquished shall have a restless night while the victors celebrate.

Leave me tonight to grieve.

And tomorrow I shall lay all this to bed, and not live in the past.

The makings of a high performing manager.

Even before one embarks on a discovery of what one needs to do to be a good manager, one needs to have a clear definition of what IS a good manager.

There are many different interpretation of what is a good manager, and none of them are wrong. Even to an individual, their idea of a manager who is worthy of his title may change according to different circumstances, or even, different days of the week.

Change is important and inevitable. A rigid approach to managing limits growth and success. A good manager knows how to use different strategies to tailor to different facts of the case.

However, there needs to be a set of core values that one should be able to fall back on, no matter what the situation may be.

The following are what I believe I should strive to achieve. I've thought long and hard about whether or not to put this out on the net, but considering that these should be values that should I should be proud of, and the fact that I believe the success rate will increase if I solidify them in words (plus no one would actually read it besides myself) I guess there's no harm in doing so.

> IMAGE

Presentation is key. It is no longer enough to just do a good job, you have to be perceived to be doing a good job. You have to appear to be someone who is confident, strong, compassionate. Perception becomes reality.

How to do it?

Wake up every morning at 6.30 a.m. and turn up at work by 7.30. Start work an hour and a half earlier than others and make sure more things are done in one day.

Reply emails by 8.30 - 9.00 am and start clearing the day's task. By 4.00 p.m. reply another round of emails and stop entertaining request past 5.30pm. Leave the office by 6.30 pm to ensure that there's enough time for dinner or exercise or just drinks (or even a movie) with family and friends.

This will be a daily goal and will contribute towards having an individual work-life balance that everyone scoffs at as an impossible dream.

Showing your subordinates that having a fulfilling day at work AND life is possible while doing a job well done is key to motivating them to attaining the same goals.

>KEEP YOUR WORD

Many a times, you may have agreed to certain timelines/schedules and if you continuously fail to meet them, your subordinates will start taking them for granted, expecting you not to meet them yourselves.

How to do it?

Simple. Stick to your promises. If you really cannot avoid it, do not wait until the last minute to update your team. They need to know they are not working towards some arbitrary and indeterminable deadline.

Conversely, you should not turn up unexpected as well with demands that were not communicated earlier and with enough time for your team to prepare for.

> SHOW (OR FAKE) PASSION be positive

When it is so easy to slip down the road to pessimism and negativity, when herd mentality means people are more prone to being stress together than being happy together, when the misguided notion that working harder and longer than your peer means you are doing a better job permeats a team, a manager has to be equiped with the necessary skills to turn the tide.

How to do it?

Be positive yourself! Do not panic and do not look stress. In fact, embrace challenges and know that there are no problems without solutions and that at the end of the day, somethings got to give. So, why not make the journey to the conclusion as painless and as stress-free as possible? If there is a leader where the team knows they can depend on in times of chaos, it gives them a sense of security, and a calmness within themselves as well.

The obvious thing to do here is:

1. Smile more.
2. Do not raise your voice unnecessarily, although sounding determined and steadfast is crucial.
3. Listen when your team talks. This helps them to share their burden with you, hence lightening their load of worries.
4. Pay compliments and show positive feedback. This encourages a more conducive working environment where people want to turn up for work, rather than dread it.
5. Don't complain about your job or the engagement. Show how much you love it (even if you don't sometimes)

> PEOPLE

People are important. Keep those that you trust close to you. Make their career and personal development goals as important as yours.

How to do it?

Just be nicer to people, but do not back down when faced with incorrigible subordinates. Sometimes it is okay to cut your losses and just move on.

Also, it is important to be there. Just be there.

Lazy writer

I should start proof-reading my own writing.

Should. But I wont.

Lazy - la.

Boring people bore me.

We are all selfish self-absorbed b*stards that will one day caused boredom to be a leading cause of death.

By 2030, it is expected that 90% of people will be soulless brainwashed numb zombies ruled by the overlord we all think serves us today, the Internet.

The Internet is causing people to not experience the outside life enough. Instead, people are living vicariously through the few people who manages to have a life beyond the Internet, and is still able to share it with the world via the net.

And the biggest sign that this bleak doomed future is slowly but surely unraveling like a coiled snake releasing the crushed body of it's victim is that FACEBOOK, the hippest thing 5 years ago, is really, I mean REALLY boring nowadays, and one of its main problem? Its status updates function.


Unoriginal status updates.

FB status updates can be broadly categorised into the following

• Whining complaints - No one want's to hear about your crappy job, your jerk of a boyfriend, or how pathetic your life is. My job and my life is bad enough (though I got a lovely gf - hi baby, I love you). If you think that what you are going through is so bad that you need to share it with the world, for goodness sake do something about it. Don't whine on a global scale!
• Countdowns - This is a semi-positive status where it shows that you are looking forward to something good that is coming your way, which is great news and worth sharing, unless you think it is more fun to make the message cryptic by not writing down what the f*ck you are counting down to. What makes my day is if I see these updates where they seemingly are counting down to god knows what, and no one bothers to ask them. So much for having 1,392 friends on FB.
• Flavor of the month - World cup. Paul the eight-legged invertebrate. Who needs livescores.net when I get World Cup updates from countless friends that I didn't know actually understands football or who are suddenly affiliated (for a month) with some European/South American country.
• Lyrics of songs - especially those that don't make any sense. Most popular one so far is "I got a feeling, that tonight's gonna be a good night...". Can't stand the song, can't stand the status updates that steals from the song.

Oh, did I also mention how ridiculous it is to "like" what you yourself have just posted?

Being a CAN MAN (saying "yes" or "okay" too fast)

Are you a "Can Man"?

Do you say "Yes" more often than "No"?

Do you say "Yes" much faster than you say "No"?

If you are one of the kind of people who says "Yes", "Okay", or "Can" without even giving a thought about the consequences of what you are agreeing to, you may be suffering from:

1. A low self-esteem
2. A non-confrontational personality
3. A slow brain
4. All of the above

If you are number 3, then chances are, there are no chance for you. And if you are number 4, then you need to check yourself into suicide watch, cos you are a high risk candidate for depression and suicidal tendencies.

Now, if you are 1 or 2, however, I'm proof that there is hope for improvement and change.

Being brought up in an Asian society with values that favors humility, humbleness and the right of the majority, we are programmed to be a very agreeable race of people. We would rather shy away from the spotlight while and go about our business with as little noise as possible.

This will lead to a many different number of problems.

In your workplace, where the highest percentage of your daily interactions take place, there are constant requests/instructions that you have to deal with. Some may fit within your job descriptions, some may be ultra-vires. How a Can Man usually respond to this is by saying okay to every request, every deadline, without any consideration of whether he can actually be able to fulfill it. The Can Man would usually delude himself into thinking, "it's okay, I will accept first, so that I don't seem completely useless, and I'll somehow fit it into my already hectic schedule. I CAN make it work" In a way, the Can Man says "can" to the soft voice inside his head that is asking him to reconsider.

When the Can Man eventually realises that he just doesn't have the resources, he not only gives himself unnecessary stress, but will end up doing a sub-par job and still end up disappointing the requester.

In a relationship with your partner (the mother of all complex human interactions), saying Yes too fast is also detrimental not just to the Can Man, but to the overall relationship.

When you say "Yes" without meaning it, you are telling a lie, which will either lead you to doing something that you don't feel like doing, making yourself hate yourself and blaming your partner for asking you to do it in the first place, or it will make your partner distrust or resents you when you don't follow up on your promise.

So what do you do if you find the above situations familiar?

1. Think before you reply. Think before you talk. In fact, think before you do anything.
2. Do not be afraid to say "No" even to those whom has the authority to either withhold your salary, or withhold sex from you.
3. Learn to say "Yes, BUT...." in situations where you just cannot say "No" and give yourself some extra time to complete the task, or to cut down on the scope of the task.
4. Learn also to say "No, BUT..." when you can provide alternative solutions (or alternative people) to complete the task requested.

A Can Man, although rare, may however find success in saying "Yes" to every request as this may seemingly demonstrate an ability to solve problems, and they may gain the reputation as someone people can rely on to get things done. Promotions and increments (and more morning kisses and breakfast in bed) may very well depend on this, but this is a dangerous game to play.

So, the next time before you say "Yes" to anything, stop yourself and use that part of your head that is so rarely used to think, should you be saying "No" instead?

Don't be a pushover. Don't be a carpet for people to walk all over. Don't be a CAN MAN.