A 2011 Happy Birthday to all my Facebook friends

It may appear I remembered,
But the truth is, I was reminded,
And since it it don't take long,
To write a greeting, 4 words long,
A quick click on your profile page I'll do,
And wish a generic, forgettable, boring, same as the postings above and below,
"Happy Birthday To You".

Social scientist should just stop taking random expensive surveys in their research. The old ways of collecting data from actual human beings being limited by geography is no longer relevant. The advancement of Facebook has made it easy for us to reach surprising conclusions about human beings, in a matter of minutes, and cost practically nothing.

For example, I know, from my extensive list of approximately 500 friends, that 20 odd years ago, people like to have unprotected sex during the months of Jan, Feb and March. I chanced upon this startling revelation as I was struggling to write a birthday greeting for a dear friend whose special day falls in the month of November. It was a struggle as this was the 5oth time I've wished someone a happy birthday this month alone, and I've ran out of ideas as to how to differentiate my greeting, or to give it a more unique, wicked twist.

From the looks of it, plenty of people have wished my popular friend. Yet, I wonder, how many of them would have actually wished him a happy birthday if not for the reminders that Facebook sends out, as well as the cost & hassle free way of just posting a greeting on his profile page.

How it used to be done

Eons ago, when MySpace, Friendster, Facebook were unheard of, and the Internet was just an idea some crazy scientist was entertaining, people had to make phone calls to the birthday person's house (before mobile phones) to wish them. If it was somebody important, you will go out to a stationery shop a week in advance, buy a card, and post it through snail mail.

Then, when e-mails came about, and still cost about a few cents per e-mail (yup, e-mails were not always free), we could send e-cards that you had to personalise, by typing in the recipient's name.

After that, when short messaging systems became the next-big-thing, people could save on exorbitant call charges and just text message a "Happy Birthday".

Now, I don't know about you, but during these Electronic Dark Ages, I barely got a birthday greeting. With Facebook, I get much more than I've ever thought possible for someone as dull and as unpopular as me.

I put that down to the fact that Facebook have simplified the whole process of making a birthday greeting to just a click of the mouse button, and typing a quick "Happy Birthday". There is no need to drive out to your nearest store to buy a card, no need to tire your thumbs by typing in a text message, and you don't even need to worry about a selection of e-cards with different cartoons and different greetings. You can even post your birthday greeting while you are checking in on your Farmville.

Too distant, and cold? Not just yet...

However, in spite of what I've said, it still does warm my heart when I get these birthday greetings, even if they are via Facebook. Once in a while, a long lost friend may just use the opportunity to re-connect with you, or a certain special someone from a previous life may just say hi. And of course, there are also those from your buddies that makes you laugh out loud.

So I guess, keep these greetings coming (and keep posting more), maybe put in a little more effort in telling your friend how much they mean to you by making the greeting stand out, and who knows, they may reciprocate, and you may find gems on your profile page the next time you log in.

The Anatomy Of A Maiden Run

Before the race

You switch back and forth between fear of somehow having a disastrous race to delusional thoughts of possibly coming in at a position that gets you a medal.

On the morning itself, you wake up at 6 am, on a Sunday morning no less, regretting, thinking what have you gotten yourself into, and whether the gods will have mercy on your unfit physique and let rain fall on the 11 KM of soft grass and tarred road.

You grab a can of Red Bull, a Milo, anything that advertisers claim helps increase your energy level, and illogically prays that these are magic potions which serves to replace weeks and months of actual training.



Flag off

You look at the runner on your right. You look at the runner in front of you. You don't bother to even look at the runner to your left, because you know the odds are that he, as well as the rest, look more in shape that you have ever been in your life. You turn up the volume of Chester Bennington's screams from your handphone, hoping to drown out the thought of the titanic task in front of you. As you cross the sensor located at the starting line, grunting as you try to avoid knocking into the runners around you, you give yourself one last pat on the back, thinking "well, I'll just try not to come in last".

After 3 KM

So far, so good. You are not running as fast as you can. Your pacing is still bearable. You are still breathing through your mouth, which you have been told is a no no, but heck it, you've need a lot of oxygen, and your nostrils aren't as large as the hole you call your mouth. You still have the energy to check out the runners of the fairer sex. Hey, ladies in short running shorts, can you really fault a hot blooded male for checking them out?

After 5 KM

WHAT?! Just past the half way point? AND you have been walking for the past 1 KM. You kick yourself for signing up for this. And did that elderly man just sprint past you? And he is barefooted! How is that possible?

After 7 KM

Your running vest is dry now, since you have been walking more than running.

Suddenly you hear a race marshal shouting out encouragement, "4 more KM to go ONLY". You think of all the 4 KM that you did in the gym on the treadmill within 30 minutes. There is a glimmer of hope yet, that you may end the race strongly. You start to run again, sprinting even, at times.

What you do not know is that running 4 KM at the beginning is different from running 4 KM at the end. You realise that soon enough when you stop, panting for breath, just meters away within earshot of the marshal who continues with her words of encouragement.

Last 2 KM

"Up, down, up, down". The undulating roads of the final lap. You chant this, as if in a trance, with your left leg stepping forward when it's "up" and your right, when it's "down". At this point, it is "girls, what girls?". You don't even care that you are making moaning sounds that places the other runners in discomfort.

Last 1 KM

You feel a sharp pain in your right knee. Your left toe have developed blisters that you can feel through the thick socks that you bought just the day before. There is a gravel in your shoe. You can't tell which shoe though, since your feet is practically numb. You start hobbling a little, afraid you might sprain your knee and you can't even finish the race. You are so close now. Just one more hill, one more incline, and the finish line will be within sight.

By now, you see people in the opposite direction with medals already walking (some running still, b**tards) back to their car. A marshal with a balloon shaped like a sausage with some message you no longer are able to read stands by the roadside. You hit the balloon with your right palm for good luck.

Crossing the finish line

You walk past the finish line. You don't celebrate. Yet. You just want to find a place to sit. Grab a drink. Maybe some food. But mostly, you just want to sit.

You reflect on what you just did. Not bad, eh? You start to forget how difficult it was. You only remember the times when you started to walk instead of run. The times when you could have ran a little faster. Maybe next time if you push yourself harder, a medal may be yours?

Guess what people say is true. You probably will not regret the things you did, but the things that you didn't do.

The Ugly Duck

The ugly duckling who did not grow up to be a beautiful swan.

Men gone down

What's the point in playing if you don't care about winning?

Tonight, the vanquished shall have a restless night while the victors celebrate.

Leave me tonight to grieve.

And tomorrow I shall lay all this to bed, and not live in the past.

The makings of a high performing manager.

Even before one embarks on a discovery of what one needs to do to be a good manager, one needs to have a clear definition of what IS a good manager.

There are many different interpretation of what is a good manager, and none of them are wrong. Even to an individual, their idea of a manager who is worthy of his title may change according to different circumstances, or even, different days of the week.

Change is important and inevitable. A rigid approach to managing limits growth and success. A good manager knows how to use different strategies to tailor to different facts of the case.

However, there needs to be a set of core values that one should be able to fall back on, no matter what the situation may be.

The following are what I believe I should strive to achieve. I've thought long and hard about whether or not to put this out on the net, but considering that these should be values that should I should be proud of, and the fact that I believe the success rate will increase if I solidify them in words (plus no one would actually read it besides myself) I guess there's no harm in doing so.

> IMAGE

Presentation is key. It is no longer enough to just do a good job, you have to be perceived to be doing a good job. You have to appear to be someone who is confident, strong, compassionate. Perception becomes reality.

How to do it?

Wake up every morning at 6.30 a.m. and turn up at work by 7.30. Start work an hour and a half earlier than others and make sure more things are done in one day.

Reply emails by 8.30 - 9.00 am and start clearing the day's task. By 4.00 p.m. reply another round of emails and stop entertaining request past 5.30pm. Leave the office by 6.30 pm to ensure that there's enough time for dinner or exercise or just drinks (or even a movie) with family and friends.

This will be a daily goal and will contribute towards having an individual work-life balance that everyone scoffs at as an impossible dream.

Showing your subordinates that having a fulfilling day at work AND life is possible while doing a job well done is key to motivating them to attaining the same goals.

>KEEP YOUR WORD

Many a times, you may have agreed to certain timelines/schedules and if you continuously fail to meet them, your subordinates will start taking them for granted, expecting you not to meet them yourselves.

How to do it?

Simple. Stick to your promises. If you really cannot avoid it, do not wait until the last minute to update your team. They need to know they are not working towards some arbitrary and indeterminable deadline.

Conversely, you should not turn up unexpected as well with demands that were not communicated earlier and with enough time for your team to prepare for.

> SHOW (OR FAKE) PASSION be positive

When it is so easy to slip down the road to pessimism and negativity, when herd mentality means people are more prone to being stress together than being happy together, when the misguided notion that working harder and longer than your peer means you are doing a better job permeats a team, a manager has to be equiped with the necessary skills to turn the tide.

How to do it?

Be positive yourself! Do not panic and do not look stress. In fact, embrace challenges and know that there are no problems without solutions and that at the end of the day, somethings got to give. So, why not make the journey to the conclusion as painless and as stress-free as possible? If there is a leader where the team knows they can depend on in times of chaos, it gives them a sense of security, and a calmness within themselves as well.

The obvious thing to do here is:

1. Smile more.
2. Do not raise your voice unnecessarily, although sounding determined and steadfast is crucial.
3. Listen when your team talks. This helps them to share their burden with you, hence lightening their load of worries.
4. Pay compliments and show positive feedback. This encourages a more conducive working environment where people want to turn up for work, rather than dread it.
5. Don't complain about your job or the engagement. Show how much you love it (even if you don't sometimes)

> PEOPLE

People are important. Keep those that you trust close to you. Make their career and personal development goals as important as yours.

How to do it?

Just be nicer to people, but do not back down when faced with incorrigible subordinates. Sometimes it is okay to cut your losses and just move on.

Also, it is important to be there. Just be there.

Lazy writer

I should start proof-reading my own writing.

Should. But I wont.

Lazy - la.

Boring people bore me.

We are all selfish self-absorbed b*stards that will one day caused boredom to be a leading cause of death.

By 2030, it is expected that 90% of people will be soulless brainwashed numb zombies ruled by the overlord we all think serves us today, the Internet.

The Internet is causing people to not experience the outside life enough. Instead, people are living vicariously through the few people who manages to have a life beyond the Internet, and is still able to share it with the world via the net.

And the biggest sign that this bleak doomed future is slowly but surely unraveling like a coiled snake releasing the crushed body of it's victim is that FACEBOOK, the hippest thing 5 years ago, is really, I mean REALLY boring nowadays, and one of its main problem? Its status updates function.


Unoriginal status updates.

FB status updates can be broadly categorised into the following

• Whining complaints - No one want's to hear about your crappy job, your jerk of a boyfriend, or how pathetic your life is. My job and my life is bad enough (though I got a lovely gf - hi baby, I love you). If you think that what you are going through is so bad that you need to share it with the world, for goodness sake do something about it. Don't whine on a global scale!
• Countdowns - This is a semi-positive status where it shows that you are looking forward to something good that is coming your way, which is great news and worth sharing, unless you think it is more fun to make the message cryptic by not writing down what the f*ck you are counting down to. What makes my day is if I see these updates where they seemingly are counting down to god knows what, and no one bothers to ask them. So much for having 1,392 friends on FB.
• Flavor of the month - World cup. Paul the eight-legged invertebrate. Who needs livescores.net when I get World Cup updates from countless friends that I didn't know actually understands football or who are suddenly affiliated (for a month) with some European/South American country.
• Lyrics of songs - especially those that don't make any sense. Most popular one so far is "I got a feeling, that tonight's gonna be a good night...". Can't stand the song, can't stand the status updates that steals from the song.

Oh, did I also mention how ridiculous it is to "like" what you yourself have just posted?

Being a CAN MAN (saying "yes" or "okay" too fast)

Are you a "Can Man"?

Do you say "Yes" more often than "No"?

Do you say "Yes" much faster than you say "No"?

If you are one of the kind of people who says "Yes", "Okay", or "Can" without even giving a thought about the consequences of what you are agreeing to, you may be suffering from:

1. A low self-esteem
2. A non-confrontational personality
3. A slow brain
4. All of the above

If you are number 3, then chances are, there are no chance for you. And if you are number 4, then you need to check yourself into suicide watch, cos you are a high risk candidate for depression and suicidal tendencies.

Now, if you are 1 or 2, however, I'm proof that there is hope for improvement and change.

Being brought up in an Asian society with values that favors humility, humbleness and the right of the majority, we are programmed to be a very agreeable race of people. We would rather shy away from the spotlight while and go about our business with as little noise as possible.

This will lead to a many different number of problems.

In your workplace, where the highest percentage of your daily interactions take place, there are constant requests/instructions that you have to deal with. Some may fit within your job descriptions, some may be ultra-vires. How a Can Man usually respond to this is by saying okay to every request, every deadline, without any consideration of whether he can actually be able to fulfill it. The Can Man would usually delude himself into thinking, "it's okay, I will accept first, so that I don't seem completely useless, and I'll somehow fit it into my already hectic schedule. I CAN make it work" In a way, the Can Man says "can" to the soft voice inside his head that is asking him to reconsider.

When the Can Man eventually realises that he just doesn't have the resources, he not only gives himself unnecessary stress, but will end up doing a sub-par job and still end up disappointing the requester.

In a relationship with your partner (the mother of all complex human interactions), saying Yes too fast is also detrimental not just to the Can Man, but to the overall relationship.

When you say "Yes" without meaning it, you are telling a lie, which will either lead you to doing something that you don't feel like doing, making yourself hate yourself and blaming your partner for asking you to do it in the first place, or it will make your partner distrust or resents you when you don't follow up on your promise.

So what do you do if you find the above situations familiar?

1. Think before you reply. Think before you talk. In fact, think before you do anything.
2. Do not be afraid to say "No" even to those whom has the authority to either withhold your salary, or withhold sex from you.
3. Learn to say "Yes, BUT...." in situations where you just cannot say "No" and give yourself some extra time to complete the task, or to cut down on the scope of the task.
4. Learn also to say "No, BUT..." when you can provide alternative solutions (or alternative people) to complete the task requested.

A Can Man, although rare, may however find success in saying "Yes" to every request as this may seemingly demonstrate an ability to solve problems, and they may gain the reputation as someone people can rely on to get things done. Promotions and increments (and more morning kisses and breakfast in bed) may very well depend on this, but this is a dangerous game to play.

So, the next time before you say "Yes" to anything, stop yourself and use that part of your head that is so rarely used to think, should you be saying "No" instead?

Don't be a pushover. Don't be a carpet for people to walk all over. Don't be a CAN MAN.

CERCLE VICIEUX (Part One)

I stumbled upon a realisation last Friday night after plying myself with several pints of beer in the company of my colleagues.

While having another round of our ritualistic weekly cerebral discussions about our chosen profession (some chosen by themselves, some chosen by their parents, some chosen by their non-existing wealth - all chosen nonetheless), we came to our favorite topic, what is lacking in our industry, and what can be done to improve it.

First, a disclaimer. The following is neither a researched nor an educated dissertation of the industry. It is merely the opinion of a lowly employee with little experience and exposure, and is most probably not reflective of the truth.

Now, where were we? Oh yeah.

The "cercle vicieux" alluded to in the title represents the unending process in which we try to break from stagnated mediocrity to achieve high performance, and all the challenges and brickwalls in between. It is the age old "chicken or egg" conundrum.

In every industry where the main product you are selling is a service, an intangible consultative advice, the differentiation between you and your closest competitor is the quality of the work you deliver.

To achieve and maintain a high level of quality in our work, we need to invest in highly qualified employees as well as lower the attrition rate.

Retaining employees means providing incentives for them to stay. It means rewarding them more than what the outside market can offer.

To pay a premium on remuneration for their employees, firms have to be able to generate sufficient revenue, i.e. higher fees, and to charge a higher fee, they have to convince their clients that they in fact paying for quality work, which brings us back again to how do we achieve quality work.

Now, the reverse holds true as well. If firms are not differentiated via quality, they are differentiated by price. In an equal playing field, the cheapest one wins.

So, firms low-ball the fees that you charge, which in turn means less revenue, which leads to lower cash to provide incentives and attract and retain high quality employees, which of course results in the deterioration of work quality.

If all the industry players do the same to ensure they remain competitive, well, total industrial quality goes down hill, and clients will demand for lower fees to be charged, and voila, you get a circle.

(to be continued)

No offence intended...

In case any of my random blog postings offends anyone, please note that this is merely a satirical take on my views of the things that happens around me, things that I am familiar with.

It may surprise you that amongst all these negativity and ranting about what is wrong with the world and the people that inhabits it, I actually have quite a sunny disposition, and I do enjoy the times when I get to just have interesting funny conversations, share jokes, and play fun games.

So, if any of my family members, close friends, colleagues or bosses happen to chance upon something I have written and took offence to my opinions, please understand that most of them are written in jest and the irony within the context is highly exaggerated.

I do appreciate feedback and comments and the occasional jostling of ideas and opinions, so feel free to reply and respond, without fear and restriction. God knows how little people would actually read what I write.

How to pay off your credit card debt

The main mantra that one should adopt when faced with seemingly insurmountable personal credit card debts is "maximise cash inflow, minimise cash outflow". The result of doing so should all then be channelled into paying down your credit card debt.

Maximising cash inflow

1. Work smart in your current job to increase the potential quantum of reward from your employers. This could be in the form of a promotion, an increment, a bonus etc.

2. Monetising your hobbies/talents, whether this is via writing part time for online journals, providing photography services, selling artwork online, trading collectibles (comics, cards, stamps, postcards), or any other variety of money making ventures.

3. Selling things that you no longer need i.e. books, magazines, comic books, toys.

4. Ensuring that you are making timely and accurate expense claims from your company to ensure you are not subsidising the operations of the company inadvertently.

Minimising cash outflow

1. Learn to say no. Whether it is to your nearest and dearest, or to a colleague or a distant acquaintence, it is best that you cut down on social activities, weekend getaways, and outings of any sort that involves money coming out from your wallet. This is especially true if you are the most senior of the lot, or the only guy, and your pride dictates that you either foot the bill before charging others, or (gasp..even worse) giving an all out treat.

2. Look in the mirror and if one of the reason that you have accumulated the mountain of debt is that you spend a huge sum of money on food every month, at the same time putting on excess weight that is pushing you towards obesity, it's time to go on a diet. That way, your wallet grows fatter while you get thinner (and healthier). Some dieting adjustment such as cutting down on sushi, western food like chicken chop, spaghetti or fish & chips, premium priced coffee and beverages, while increasing intake of greens (which always cost less than meat) and sticking to just plain water, is not beyond anybody.

3. Don't buy on impulse. And impulse can last for months! That DSLR camera that you want, and that you keep finding excuses to buy, can wait! It will be a guilt-free purchase if you buy it only AFTER you settle your debts. Rationalise, especially when you are at your weakest and most vulnerable, and when you are faced with various promotions, and friends who are already owning the latest gadgetary. Remember, it's not the equipment that matters, rather the artist behind the equipment that makes the difference.

4. Stop incurring fines. Drive safe on the road. Don't get into fender benders that may set you back a couple of hundred. Don't beat the red light and you don't have to bribe the policeman.

How to make an auditor happy.

1. Tell him that he is technically sound.

2. Exempt him from writing appraisals for one year. Conversely, change all appraisals into Multiple Choice Questions (MCQ) where all you need to do is select options which are already presented to you.

3. Exempt him from doing up his timesheet for one year (or even a month). This can be easily solved if technology is sped up to catch up with our expectations. An application that tracks how long you spend on an audit file would be more than sufficient to replace the tedious task of manually filling up a timesheet.

4. Give him staff that have no life and no study leave.

5. Fill up the pantry with better food and drinks, preferably things that can be categorised as intoxicants.

6. Give hum a gym, a basketball court, a pool table, or just something for him to hit, punch, kick and scold.

7. Install a stand alone air conditioner to be used when the building's centralised air conditioners are switched off.

8. Shower room. To stay fresh. And smell free.

9. Pay him more so that it doesn't seem like slave labour as compared to his ex-highschool friends who are in the IT line or is a lawyer.

Hate post #1

This is a rant. This rant is not targeted at any particular race, creed, gender or sexual preference. Rather, this is a rant targeted at people that annoys the hell out of me. People that for reasons, maybe known or unknown to them, infuriates me and makes me wonder what kind of upbringing they have that turns them into such irritating beings. Yes. My rage and annoyance goes beyond the very people that annoys me and strikes against their parents, families and ancestries.

1. People that speaks with English with a pretentious foreign accent.

...in a Starbucks coffee shop, where everyone is either reading a book or on their laptops, and only their conversation fills the lounge. It almost makes me wish Starbucks would play their boring indie music to drown out the incessant yawn-inducing small talk between the aforementioned "slangy" guys. Look, speaking like that not only peeves people within hearing distance, but it also makes you seem effeminate and gay, which is fine if you are, but it still annoys me. So there.

2. People who calls themselves photographers just because they have a credit card that allows them to buy a DSLR on credit.

A bonafide photographer knows that originality counts the most. So, taking that picture of the rice field or a hill (which you just painfully lugged your bag that contains your lenses and tripod) where probably a thousand people plus your aunt has snapped before you does not make you a photographer. Not when you still spend your days on a desk running up spreadsheets while dreaming someone pays you to snap their photos. Pictures tell a story if it is snapped by an inspired photographer. Show me a picture of a flower that you snapped just because you think it'll be interesting to prove you understand depth of field and I'll use it as a coaster for my daily drink of whisky.

3. "Click-and-post" happy people

The juggernaut of cheap cameras and the growing number of people who use Facebook has given birth to a new online societal bane, the uncensored posting of photos online. This causes a wide number of annoyance, especially if it is a photo of you that you were not aware was being taken, and is now being shared with the millions of netizens (or the 3 people that actually cares about the postings of you on Facebook).

4. People who calls other people "mate" just because they spent a year or two in Australia.

And also, those who calls another person whom they are disagreeing with "mate" or any other terms of fake affection. This is just way too condescending.

Untitled - I

We fear the unknown and what lies beyond. We fear knowing too. The paradoxes are incredible and irreconcilible. Do we want it to end or do we want it to last forever?

Is it even something worth pondering. When it ends, if this is all it is, wouldn't we feel nothing? No joy. No despair. No elation. No hopelessness. No salvation. No fear. No forever.

No fear. That's tempting isn't it? No fear means no more fearing and dreading the night. Fearing the sensationless that we feel (or don't feel) when we sleep. That this would be how it would be when this ends.

Does this stem from irrationality, or the want to rationalise everything?

Work is a great cure. So is love. And fun things that you like to do. Of course it helps that our energy has limits and eventually, we run out of it at the end of the day and we need to sleep. And one day, sleep will come.

HOLMES vs. HOUSE MD

House MD is based on Sherlock Holmes by Sir Arthur Conan Dyle. Sherlock Holmes the movie by Guy Ritchie is based on Sherlock Holmes by Sir Arthur Conan Dyle. Hence, an extension of this logic is that S.H.T.M. ("Sherlock Holmes The Movie") should stand to be compared to H.M.D ("House M.D."), or so it seems.

But first, before the review begins, let me prove conclusively that H.M.D. is based on Holmes.

1. House is another word for homes, which sounds almost the same as Holmes.

2. Dr. Wilson, sidekick to Dr.House, has a name which is similar to Dr.Watson, sidekick to Sherlock Holmes.

3. The dynamics of the relationship between House/Wilson and Holmes/Watson is indiscernible.

4. In an episode of H.M.D. House played a prank on his fellows by sending himself a Christmas gift of an antique medical book by Dr. Joshua Bell. Wilson played along by claiming that the book was a gift by a mysterious patient called Irene Adler. No prizes for matching Irene Adler to the character played by Rachel McAdams in S.H.T.M. More interestingly, Dr. Joshua Bell is a real life doctor whose exploits form the foundation for Sir Arthur to craft his fictional detective, Holmes.

5. Holmes plays the violin while House plays the piano and guitar.

6. Holmes takes cocaine while House is addicted to Vicodin (a painkiller)

7. Holmes stays in 221B Baker Street while House stays in an apartment marked 221B.

(further prove can be found in the following website http://www.housemd-guide.com/holmesian.php)

Now, on to the how the movie fared, in my humble opinion. Should the main selling point of the movie be about the relationship between Holmes & Watson, it can clearly be seen that if fails in comparison to the one between House & Wilson. Granted, the writers of H.M.D. had 6 seasons to develop their individual characters and the relationship, but Guy should have done better. The chemistry between R.D.J. and Jude Law seems forced and farcical. At certain points in the movie, I found myself wishing that they would have just cast Hugh Laurie and Robert Sean Leonard in the movie.

If action is what Guy was reaching for, he packed more punch in his other movies such as Snatch and Lock, Stock & Two Smoking Barrels (which by the way, benefited from quick editing. S.H.T.M's quick cut scenes just seemed...fractured). For those who thought that R.D.J's shirtless fight in the movie is cool should watch the Brad Pitt gypsy fight scene in Snatch. Now, that's cool.

Overall, I felt that the S.H.T.M story fell flat, the acting was mediocre and the action just plain *yawn* boring. It was disappointing, considering how I much I liked Guy Ritchie's previous movies and R.D.J's role in Tropic Thunder.

The Rotten Tomatoes gave S.H.T.M a 50% rating on its tomato meter. I think that is being a little to kind. Give this a miss, don't go even for mindless fun, as this movie was no fun at all.