G.L.A.D on Valentine's Day

An admission of writer's block. I have the desire to pen down a few thoughts about this special day, but with no outline as yet on my notepad, God knows where this post will be headed towards.

Valentine's Day is not just about one day, as many would have known by now. Nope, for many, it is an event which requires weeks of advance planning, and the repercussions of a well planned or a screwed up Valentine's Day is felt for weeks after that.

I'm not even referring to the corporations or small business owners (such as the evil horde of florists) raking in abominable profits which pays for their children's college funds and their Caribbean cruises (but since we are on this subject, flowers, chocolates and condoms should be included in the Price Control Act and Anti Profiteering Act 2011 to prevent the abuses of young horny, and hence non-rational, males everywhere).

Nope, I am referring to aforementioned horny males - especially those without a girl to spend the money equivalent to a house loan on during this day.

For those who are blissfully unattached, Valentine Day may seem like a non-event, and most single people like to show that they are okay with their current status of being "undesired", but the truth is, they start perspiring pheromones weeks ahead. The following are the stages an unattached man goes through in the days leading to D-Da..I mean, V-Day:

One month before V-Day: I've got a month to find a date for Valentine's Day. Time to stalk Facebook to see who among my friend list is still single. This should be easy. I love you Mark Zuckerberg, for conceiving Facebook.

2 weeks before V-Day: Okay okay, maybe Facebook friends list is a little too limited in scope. Time to expand my search to my Friendster friends.

1 week before V-Day: Self-doubt creeps in. What's wrong with me? I'm slightly porky and puke in my mouth at the thought of conversation with the fairer sex, but I'm sure I'm still better than that obese old man with a bad comb-over and a hot broad hanging on his arms....wait, he drives a Ferarri. I hate women.

2 days before V-Day: Maybe the Mayans screwed up, and maybe the world will end on 13 February, if I pray hard enough.

1 day before V-Day: Stupid radio stations with their constant looping of sappy love songs. Read somewhere that people know they are in love when "all the love songs makes sense". What does it mean then, when "all the love songs makes one want to hang himself like Moe does in The Simpsons every holiday season"?

V-Day: Looks longingly at the couples that walks past your windows, arms locked, tripping over each other. Resolves to improve oneself, by hitting the gym (doable), getting a six pack (doable) and stop being a weirdo (close to impossible), so that one won't remain dateless by the next Valentine's Day.

V-Day +1: Goes back to stalking girls on Facebook. Decides Friendster is a lost cause, tries to add search for Friendster female "friends" on Facebook to add them.

Happy Valentine's Day, my single friends!

Postscript:

Research has shown that single people have more sex with more partners than successfully attached or married couples, so instead of Single Awareness Day, with its S.A.D acronym insinuating a downside to being single, may I suggest G.L.A.D, which stands for Getting Laid Always Day.

Do drop me a message if you have other candidates to replace S.A.D.