How much does your life weigh? Imagine for a second that you're carrying a backpack. I want you to pack it with all the stuff that you have in your life... you start with the little things. The shelves, the drawers, the knickknacks, then you start adding larger stuff. Clothes, tabletop appliances, lamps, your TV... the backpack should be getting pretty heavy now. You go bigger. Your couch, your car, your home... I want you to stuff it all into that backpack. Now I want you to fill it with people. Start with casual acquaintances, friends of friends, folks around the office... and then you move into the people you trust with your most intimate secrets. Your brothers, your sisters, your children, your parents and finally your husband, your wife, your boyfriend, your girlfriend. You get them into that backpack, feel the weight of that bag. Make no mistake your relationships are the heaviest components in your life. All those negotiations and arguments and secrets, the compromises. The slower we move the faster we die. Make no mistake, moving is living. Some animals were meant to carry each other to live symbiotically over a lifetime. Star crossed lovers, monogamous swans. We are not swans. We are sharks.
"Ryan Bingham, Up in The Air (2009)"
Shining a harsh light on modern living, modern society and my life in my society.
Tuesday, December 4, 2012
Sunday, November 11, 2012
Random Quotes - Courage
The absence of fear isn't courage.
Courage is looking fear in its eyes, grabbing it by its collars and pulling it down with you while you leap of a plane at 15,000 feet with only a prayer that your parachutes will work.
Courage is looking fear in its eyes, grabbing it by its collars and pulling it down with you while you leap of a plane at 15,000 feet with only a prayer that your parachutes will work.
Random Quotes - Big Words
Sometimes, when I write, I use words which I am certain is not used in the correct context, but it sounds correct because of the number of letters in that word.
I get away with it because smart people never read what I write, and not so smart people just skip that word, thinking that they are the ones who don't understand the meaning of said word.
I get away with it because smart people never read what I write, and not so smart people just skip that word, thinking that they are the ones who don't understand the meaning of said word.
Thursday, October 18, 2012
A Traffic Light Love Story
The man saw her at the intersection of a busy street.
Standing opposite him, across the street, she was doing exactly what he was doing.
Waiting for the light to turn green.
She was beautiful. He had heard of woman being described as breathtaking, but never has he experienced it before this. He gasped, inaudibly, then took a deep breath.
Ten seconds passed. The little red man turned green.
He hesitated. He knew that if he crosses now, he would only be with the woman he now loves for that brief second when they brush past each other at the middle of the road, each heading in the opposite direction.
He knew that he will never again see her after that moment.
He has fallen in love at the traffic lights before.
He decided that he would wait for her to cross to his side of the road.
He pretended to drop his books on the ground, wanting to appear less than obvious as to why he wasn't yet crossing the street.
When he looked up, he saw that the lights had turned red again, and to his surprise, he saw her still standing at the exact same spot when he saw her. Only this time, she was looking at him too, from across the street.
When the pedestrian traffic lights turned green again, he walked over, and noticed that she was just standing there, as if waiting for him.
He approached her, and asked, "Why didn't you cross the street?"
She smiled and replied, "I was waiting for you to cross over to me."
He stormed off, walking away from the girl, only turning back to scream at her, "You lazy!#$%#W%%$#%! Not even willing to walk a little extra to meet me halfway!"
Friday, September 21, 2012
Tips On Becoming A Good Female Boss
Coming fast on the heels of LGBT guidelines issued by two misguided organisations, the guidelines on how to become a good female boss ("Cara Menjadi "Bos Wanita" Yang Baik") was recently published by MedikTV, a unit of Malaysia's Ministry of Health.
For the benefit of those who do not understand Bahasa Melayu, you can obtain the translation from the article published in The Star ("Guidelines for women bosses spark outcry").
To be sure, these guidelines are definitely sexist and prejudicial. However, they are not exactly ill-advised nor controversial, and can easily work by just removing one single word from the header; "Wanita" (Female).
These tips, as MedikTV calls them, should serve as a timely reminder to all bosses, regardless of genders. I have seen my fair share of male bosses who exhibits managerial traits which most would (unfairly) associate more with the fairer sex.
Although the people who published these tips claim that it was created to help female bosses, I believe this is counter-productive, and instead of helping further the cause of women, promotes the stereotypical views of women in the workplace as temperamental, controlling, fierce, cold and unfriendly. This is definitely going against the government's effort to increase the number of women leaders in Corporate Malaysia ("This is still men's world, apparently")
One thing that I am getting worried about, though, is the seemingly emerging trend of organisations linked to the government issuing inane guidelines and policies, generally getting their foot caught in their mouths, and the government's subsequent and swift denial of having anything to do with it, even if the organisation is directly under the ministry's purview.
This lack of accountability may point towards a wider spread problem which is systemic throughout the machinations of our current sitting government.
For the benefit of those who do not understand Bahasa Melayu, you can obtain the translation from the article published in The Star ("Guidelines for women bosses spark outcry").
To be sure, these guidelines are definitely sexist and prejudicial. However, they are not exactly ill-advised nor controversial, and can easily work by just removing one single word from the header; "Wanita" (Female).
These tips, as MedikTV calls them, should serve as a timely reminder to all bosses, regardless of genders. I have seen my fair share of male bosses who exhibits managerial traits which most would (unfairly) associate more with the fairer sex.
Although the people who published these tips claim that it was created to help female bosses, I believe this is counter-productive, and instead of helping further the cause of women, promotes the stereotypical views of women in the workplace as temperamental, controlling, fierce, cold and unfriendly. This is definitely going against the government's effort to increase the number of women leaders in Corporate Malaysia ("This is still men's world, apparently")
One thing that I am getting worried about, though, is the seemingly emerging trend of organisations linked to the government issuing inane guidelines and policies, generally getting their foot caught in their mouths, and the government's subsequent and swift denial of having anything to do with it, even if the organisation is directly under the ministry's purview.
This lack of accountability may point towards a wider spread problem which is systemic throughout the machinations of our current sitting government.
LGBT: The Debate In Malaysia Today
For an organisation that goes by the name Putrajaya Consultative Council of Parents and Teachers Associations, one would have thought they would have had more consultation before issuing guidelines that makes little sense, and instead of highlighting what they believe is an erosion of society's value, it highlights the organisation's intolerance, bigotry and obtuseness.
Firstly, the symptoms that purportedly signals that a man is gay. Big handbags, V-neck t-shirts which is one size too small, singlets, and light coloured clothing? This sounds more like an attack on fashion than a list formulated by homophobes.
I am as vocal as anyone when it comes to opposing the growing excess of male wardrobe (Read Building wardrobe - Evolution of men), but for reasons that no average men could possibly match the high standards set by the male models, actors and celebrities splashed across magazines and billboards.
The guidelines were intended for the use of teachers and parents of school going children, and I fail to see the relevance of this as most students in Malaysia has to go to school in their school uniforms of which they have no say in.
If the Council is adamant in trying to enforce these guidelines, would they then propose to change the colors of the uniforms, which are mainly white, light blue, or light green?
And since being muscular is one of the symptoms of being gay, would they also cancel all Physical Education classes as it would promote muscle growth in male students?
Now, the symptoms for lesbians as published in their guidelines makes even less sense. How is "attracted to women" any different from "have no affection for men", and how are any of these two different from just "lesbians"? Furthermore, isn't "distancing themselves from other women" in direct contradiction to the next guideline "like to hang out, have meals and sleep in the company of women"?
Since when did hanging out and having meals with people means I want to have sexual relations with them?
Would they then give a nod of approval to a girl who likes to "hang out, have meals and sleep in the company of MEN"?!
If this was the type of backwards policies and ideas that the Council (together with Yayasan Guru Malaysia) is trying to preach, no wonder our education system is in such a mess, with the flip-flopping of teaching of mathematics and science in English as a key example.
While researching this issue, I came upon a comment reportedly made by the Deputy Minister in the Prime Minister's Department, Mashitah Ibrahim in the Dewan Rakyat in June 2012. She said that the LGBT community is not protected by clauses in the Federal Constitution that protects Malaysians against discrimination, that “Article 8 of the Federal Constitution says there must be no discrimination of citizens in terms of religion or sex. ‘Sex’ has never been interpreted to mean sexual orientation; it has always been interpreted to mean either male or female, and they are [the only ones] protected by the constitution"(Freemalaysiatoday-LGBT not protected by federal constitution).
Apparently, according to the learned Deputy Minister, once a person is categorised as a member of the LGBT community, they automatically stop being either "male" or "female". I leave you to ponder how such a conclusion was arrived at, and the total absence of logic in this argument that the constitution doesn't accord freedom from discrimination for these "genderless" people.
I for one am fully in support of the national debate that is growing on the rights and participation of the LGBT community, but for the issue to move forward in a way that befits a civilised society, one must rid themselves of the shackles of hatred and the irrational fear of something which they do not yet understand. Only when we are capable of discussing complex issues based on the merits of facts and a sensitivity to everyone, even those whom we deem different from who we are, can things like childish guidelines be relegated to the ash heap of our country's history.
Wednesday, September 5, 2012
Hi. My Name Is Justin And I Am A ......
Last Friday, I was introduced to a group of people that I was meeting for the first time. They were youths from a church cell group, ranging in age from the early to the late twenties.
When each individual took turns to introduce themselves, everyone started with, of course, their names and their birth country. They also included the following introduction:
"I am a pre-med student."
"I am a professional blogger."
"I am a counsellor at a school."
"I am a designer."
When it came to my turn, I had the temptation to introduce myself as anything other than an auditor. I wasn't embarrass by my profession, although it did appear that I had probably one of the squarest occupation in the room. Instead, what made me hesitate was this question.
Are we solely defined by the tasks that people pay us to perform?
For example, can't someone say "I write software codes for a living, but I'm an aspiring guitar player for the local band at the pub down the street".
Matt Cutts, an engineer from Google gave a presentation in TED (http://www.ted.com/talks/matt_cutts_try_something_new_for_30_days.html) sometime last year. In his presentation, he spoke of people who pledged to write a 50,000 words novel in the month of November. He tried it, and after completing his novel within that 30 days, he can now introduce himself as a novelist, even though his work has never been published (and probably never will) and he has not been paid a single cent for his novel.
We are more than our occupation. The slash that comes after our names separates different but equally important roles that we play. Although it shouldn't be an aim to have as many slashes as possible in one's lifetime, it is critical to recognise that as human beings, we are not one dimensional.
I hope to one day be able to introduce myself in the following manner:
"Hi, I am a father to two beautiful children/ husband to the prettiest and most loving head family chef within a 30 mile radius (and an owner of a car that can only travel 29 miles before breaking down)/ collector of well-read superhero comic books/ lover of alternative rock and certain kind of jazz music (the non-boring type), and on my spare time when I'm not all those things, I perform statutory financial statements audit for corporations and organisations."
Insights - Fleeting Moment of Clarity
Every once in a while, we are gifted with an insight that changes our perspective on life, whether it is that life is short, and we should make the best of it, or that time and relationships are the two most valuable things we have in our lives.
However, for most of us, it is a struggle to maintain these perspective in our daily lives.
I envy those few who succeeds in finding ways to do so.
(Adapted from Candy Chang's talk at TED)
http://www.ted.com/talks/candy_chang_before_i_die_i_want_to.html
Thursday, July 19, 2012
Adaptability and the Theory of Evolution
"It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent that survives. It is the one that is most adaptable to change" Charles Darwin.
However, it is often the intelligent who recognises the need to adapt, and the strong who has the willpower, strength and ability to do what is necessary to adapt.
Happy, Dangerous, Beacons, and a Waste of Space. Which One Are You?
There are different types of people in the world.
There are those who are both intellectually-challenged and not very industrious, and these are the happiest people of all.
Then, there are those who are a little daft and yet extremely hardworking, and they are potentially the most dangerous of the lot.
A few are both diligent and intelligent, and these are people who become shining beacons for their family and community (possibly even for humanity, if they put in enough effort).
This leaves us with people who are smart, even brilliant, but without a single fibre of conscientiousness in any of the two hundred and six bones in their bodies, and that is just a waste.
Which one do you identify yourself with?
Wednesday, July 4, 2012
Consider The Opposite
When you are antagonised or provoked, and the only conceivable response is that you react with the same bile, to fight fire with more fire, stop for a moment and consider the action which is the exact opposite of your initial instinct and urge to defend yourself with a similar attack.
Would adopting a softer stance be that unacceptable?
Could you look past your ego, your pride, to apologise, even when you know it was not entirely your fault?
Only when a tense situation is diffused and when rational minds and calm emotions preside over discussions can a solution be discovered.
Two-step actions to better anger management and conflict resolution.
1. Stop.
2. Consider the opposite.
Would adopting a softer stance be that unacceptable?
Could you look past your ego, your pride, to apologise, even when you know it was not entirely your fault?
Only when a tense situation is diffused and when rational minds and calm emotions preside over discussions can a solution be discovered.
Two-step actions to better anger management and conflict resolution.
1. Stop.
2. Consider the opposite.
Monday, June 25, 2012
Building A Wardrobe: The Evolution of Men
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| I had pants that short before. I was laughed at by my entire audit team. Now I know I was just "fashion forward". |
Not that many years ago, when the term "menswear" bring forth images of burly men cursing like a drunk sailor with a sea urchin up his arse, rather than men in techni-coloured coats and chinos, "building a wardrobe" literally meant going to your local hardware store to purchase nails and wooden planks to build a storage compartment for your clothes.
Nowadays, "building a wardrobe" means ensuring you have in your closet the latest fall fashion's turtleneck knitted sweater to match your suede trousers and accessorising with leather gloves and a gentleman's umbrella.
http://www.dailychilli.com/happenings/18802-sneak-peek-at-hams-fall-fashion-coming-soon
Sunday, June 24, 2012
Writing
Before you write, you have to decide if it is to be read between mouthfuls of chicken nuggets, or if it requires more than just fleeting focus and brief attention.
Thursday, June 21, 2012
The Five W's of An Angry Man
Who dafuq took the last piece of blardy cake?!
What dafuq?!
When dafuq will this be over?! Urgh...
Where dafuq did I leave my baseball bat?!
Why dafuq did I agree to do this?!
What Would You Do...
...if you could do one thing without needing to face and suffer its consequences?
(My answer in the first comment below)
(My answer in the first comment below)
Musicians Are The Happiest People In The World
Being on a stage in front of a hundred thousand fans, or strumming alone, or with your garage band, you sink into a world of your own, a place where you own everything that is there, and there is nothing there that needs your care, except the music that you play.
Isn't that the happiest place on earth, and this place where the people stay, this place where the people love, aren't they the happiest people in the world?
Sure, Kurt Cobain killed himself, and he was a musician, but did he pull the trigger while he was singing "About A Girl"?
No, the bullet pierced his head when there was no guitar in his hands. One simply cannot possibly manage a shotgun while playing the guitar.
I wish I was a musician, so I can join the ranks of the happiest people in the world.
Life of a Cubicle Dweller
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| Random cartoon from internet. Not sure who to credit it to. Don't sue me for copyright infringement! |
Tired from staring at the flickering screens of my office laptop, I closed my eyes and leaned back in my chair.
When I reopened my eyes, the dotted panels of my ceiling stared back at me.
I did what all accountants are trained for years to do.
I started counting.
Not the dots. Even I am not that crazy yet.
I counted the panels that covered my cubicle.
When I was done with mine, I started counting the panels on my neighbour's ceiling.
He had more than mine.
Which means he has more cubicle space than mine.
Fuck my life.
Note:
When I raised this miscarriage of justice and inequitable corporate practice to Human Resources, they defended it by claiming my neighbour was slightly larger than me in terms of bodily size, and hence, the cubicle to body size ratio is a fairer measurement method, instead of just comparing the absolute size of the cubicles (or the number of ceiling panels).
Challenge accepted. I am ballooning myself to 100 kg.
Scott Adams, if you happen to pay a visit here, please Dilbertize this!
Jason Mraz Live In Malaysia 2012 - No More Guessing Games
October 15, 2003. Linkin Park had their first concert in Malaysia at Stadium Merdeka, Kuala Lumpur. The crowd consisted of people wearing jeans and t-shirts in varying degree of tatteredness.
The field was packed, from section to section. You could faint and still remain in an upright position, held by the sweaty swaying bodies of the people to your left, your right, your front, your back.
There were crowd control personnel there to "airlift" people who couldn't bear the jostling and pushing and the lack of oxygen. People were spraying water at the crowd, not to disperse them like what has been happening recently in the streets of the city, but to lower the atmospheric temperature in the audience.
This was at the height of Linkin Park's fame.
Fast forward close to a decade later, another concert was held at the same venue.
Jason Mraz's Tour Is A Four Letter Word came to town on Tuesday, bringing with him a group of talented musicians, including an incredibly adorable violinist, and arsenal of radio friendly songs and his amazing wordplay.
Right at the beginning, he got the crowd to their feet. Surprisingly, the fedora worshipping crowd sat back down in their seats after only the second song. Only a handful of fans (nut jobs?) remained standing.
I consider myself a fan, although I am more inclined towards his earlier work. "The Remedy", "You and I Both" from "Waiting for My Rocket To Come", "I'm Yours" and "Details In The Fabric feat. James Morrison" from "We Sing, We Dance, We Steal Things" were some of my favourite. Except for "Details In The Fabric", the other three songs were part of the night's set list, and garnered the biggest sing-along of the evening.
Well, if you consider humming as singing-along. For every person who is able to keep up with his admittedly wordy songs, there are probably ten others like me who butchers his songs and leave it as a mangled bloody corpse.
Occasionally, you will hear the screams of declaration of love by the ladies (and some men). Some have lungs that I personally believe surpasses even those of Mr. Mraz himself, judging by the ringing in my ears by the end of the night courtesy of a nice lady sitting right behind me.
Speaking of ambushes from behind, remember the people who politely sat down after the second song? One of them must have had their view blocked by my ample butt while I was standing, as I felt pieces of tissue paper raining on me. A piece of paper even found its way lodged between my gelled up hair.
If Mr. Mraz was having any doubts that he was performing in Kuala Lumpur, one look at the passive ossified crowd would have served as a reminder.
Quirks of the typical Malaysian concert goer:
- We have been conditioned that in whatever situation, whenever a chair presents itself, we will sit down politely, and will only stand when we are asked to.
- We pay two hundred bucks to attend a concert only to be more than willing to view it through the small screens of our smart phones.
Curtain fell after a perfect delivery of his latest hit, "I Won't Give Up". It was a beautiful epilogue to a beautiful evening.
Lyric of the night, "It's like trying to guess, when the only answer is yes."
Wednesday, June 6, 2012
The Difference Between Religion & Race
This morning, a group chat room between my friends and I received an update that the babysitter in the case of a murdered baby in the park in my hometown has admitted to concocting the story that she was kidnapped by three men in the early mornings, which led to the disappearance, and ultimately, the death of the baby.
But that is not the point of this tale.
The update was sent by a friend, and another friend replied the following:
"That's ugly...I heard she is a Christian...Aiyah".
This comment received a lot of criticism and brickbats from another friend and myself, and the language used was pretty colorful. We were outraged at his insinuation that if she was of any other religion, or if she was without a religion, it would be less shocking to him (he is a Christian, by the way).
But again, that is not the point of this tale.
After getting an earful from us, our friend who made the "Christian" remark tried to explain himself by saying, "I never think that way of Buddhist or Muslim or Indians".
My friend, "Indian" is not a religion. "Indian" is a race. "Hindu" is a religion, "Indian" is not.
THAT is the point of this story.
But that is not the point of this tale.
The update was sent by a friend, and another friend replied the following:
"That's ugly...I heard she is a Christian...Aiyah".
This comment received a lot of criticism and brickbats from another friend and myself, and the language used was pretty colorful. We were outraged at his insinuation that if she was of any other religion, or if she was without a religion, it would be less shocking to him (he is a Christian, by the way).
But again, that is not the point of this tale.
After getting an earful from us, our friend who made the "Christian" remark tried to explain himself by saying, "I never think that way of Buddhist or Muslim or Indians".
My friend, "Indian" is not a religion. "Indian" is a race. "Hindu" is a religion, "Indian" is not.
THAT is the point of this story.
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
1984 - My Past...and Our Future? Beware Of What You Post Online!
I personally believe that this has got more to do with protecting those with vested interest and those who walk along the corridors of powers as if they own them, than the "kids who are connected online", as claimed by the MCMC chairman.
Read the following link for The Star's report on the amendment to the Evidence Act passed recently in relation to comments or Internet postings which are deemed "hateful, seditious, or slanderous" (Cyber bullies and stalkers often get away because of lack of evidence).
To elaborate on my opening statement, as a nation we seem to be regressing towards a police state, where fear is used as a tool to keep the flock in check. The Internet's position as the last bastion for free and bias-free (albeit unfiltered and error-prone) information and news is under attack. With the amendment to the Evidence Act which shifts the burden of proof from the prosecutors to the defendant, it seems the Malaysian government is trying to control the Internet, just like how most mainstream media is under their control.
Also noteworthy is the cyber troopers initiatives recently rolled out by the ruling parties to "combat lies and propaganda of the Opposition". This initiative which includes having a Facebook page for the cyber troopers, coupled with the amendment to the Evidence Act, should be a cause of concern for any reasonable and rational netizen. Are the cyber troopers suppose to trawl the Internet to seek for potentially "hateful, seditious, slanderous" comments or statements and then report them to the MCMC or the authorities?
I may be stretching this a little too far, but doesn't these developments just reminds you of George Orwell's 1984, his masterpiece about a dystopian future, where the Big Brother and the Thought Police spies on the people and dissidents are captured by the Ministry of Truth, and is reintegrated into society via torture and brainwash.
A couple of thoughts and comments about the article published in The Star.
- The MCMC chairman said that owners of Internet accounts where hate messages had originated could easily rebut charges against them if they were innocent. “For example, if you can produce witnesses to say that you were nowhere near your computer or any other communicating device at the time the message was sent out, you can get off", the chairman said. My question is, since almost everyone has a smartphone now, and most carry their smartphone with them everywhere they go, how are we going to prove that we are nowhere near a communicating device?
- The Minister in the PM Department cited that one of the reasons for the amendment is that the conviction rates of suspected cyber offenders was very low, and that it was very difficult to prosecute the offenders before the amendment. One begs the question then, that how about the other crimes that have low conviction rates? If murder, rape, kidnapping records similarly low conviction rate, would the law be change to make it easier to prosecute the suspected murderers, rapists, kidnappers? Another inconsistency to note is that our Attorney General Chambers and the prosecutors that works within are paid to prosecute. It is their job, their burden, to ensure that there is sufficient evidence to prosecute the suspects. We, the public, are not paid to defend and prove our innocence, so why should we make their jobs easier?
Wednesday, May 23, 2012
The Week In Review 2: Making Sense Of Nonsense - When DBKL & PDRM Redeems Itself
Roundup of the news today.
It may be bad luck. It may be a lack of warm up or stretching prior to the match.
But I think Dato Lee's ankle finally gave way to the weight of the hopes of an entire nation, whose burden lies squarely and solely on his shoulders. With this latest setback, so diminishes Malaysia's only chance of winning the Thomas Cup and an Olympic gold medal.
The question that I cannot seem to find an answer to is, if Dato Lee is playing past his prime (or dangerously close to it), where are the young players, who can challenge not just the top dog of Malaysia, but also compete internationally with the up and coming youngsters from China, Korea, Denmark, etc?
How many more years can we depend only on one man, to bring the country glory in the world of badminton (and sports)?
I think BAM has to start going into overdrive to try unearthing the next crop of players with talent and determination, as well as mental strength, to replace our old warhorses.
Marina Mahathir - Beacon of sense and sensibility
The daughter of a former Prime Minister, the scion of an often controversial and divisive political giant whose shadows cast far and wide upon the current administrations, and whose opinions continues to influence the political landscape of the country, Marina Mahathir has proven that while she may have inherited her father's fiery nature, she has not inherited his politics.
Her latest article in The Star is a gem. Definitely worth a read. Link is provided below.
'Innovative' forms of violence by Marina Mahathir
Malaysia Airlines (MAS) Grounded
Not quite, though turnaround plans have yet to take off due to delays in numerous operation issues and the inability to come to a common ground with the unionised employees.
With the unwinding of the share swap between the main shareholders of MAS and Airasia, it's not a stretch to say that MAS is back to square one, fighing fire on both ends, trying to increase revenues amidst a competitive industry while searching for unnecessary fat to trim.
From announcing the Voluntary Leave Program yesterday, to today's news that they will attempt to raise RM 9 billion from bonds and government assistance, it is clear that the government is not ready to throw in the towel yet when it comes to this bleeding behemoth.
I am of course raising this because of the role the government plays in the company. Setting up a Special Purpose Vehicle (SPV) company to buy aeroplanes and leasing them to MAS is obviously a method to ensure MAS's balance sheet isn't further impacted.
My question is, since the SPV will be funded by the government, hence, taxpayers' money, will they be leasing the planes to MAS at market value, or will MAS benefit from "related parties" rates? Can we as the rakyat expect that the aid (read: BAILOUT) that the Government provides to MAS at least achieves a reasonable rate of return?
My other question is this; what would the Opposition do with MAS if they comes to power, either in GE13 or in the future? Do they have the political will to pull the plug on our national carrier, or will they do what BN is doing now for fear of pissing off 20,000 voters who works in MAS?
History as a compulsory subject, but not English?
Having read P.Gunasegaram article in The Star (Making sense of history by P. Gunasegaram), I heave a sigh of relief that English is still not a priority when it comes to educating Malaysians.
It is reported that the Education Ministry is considering making History a compulsory pass for SPM, making it the second subject after Bahasa Malaysia to be accorded such status.
One wonders when will English be given the same royal treatment?
I am not complaining though.
I may not possess a perfect grasp of the language, but I do well enough, I suppose, and it has always been a plus point when compared to the many Malaysians who cannot even string a sentence together without breaking into cold sweat. I am not referring to just one particular race, for I have come across friends and colleagues from all races who brings out the inner grammar nazi in me.
DBKL, PDRM and Ambiga - All We Need Is Love
It warms the very cockles of my heart when I read that DBKL and the police have finally stepped in to cut short the planned demonstrations in front of Datuk S. Ambiga's house.
Datuk Ambiga and DBKL/PDRM, who were on opposite sides of the divide during the Bersih 3.0 rally, even managed to put their differences aside and exchange friendly tweets on Twitter in a rare public display of affection.
Ambiga tweeted “DBKL worked late into the night to clear yellow lines. Here now with police checking. Appreciate it @PDRMsia and DBKL. So do neighbours” yesterday morning.
This was the police's reply.
The police tweeted “TQ for comment. All of us need to be safe, hv peace & harmony. Appreciation & Gratitude are virtues of life.
Get a room, you two!
Read the full story here (The Star: DBKL to halt unauthorised activities around Ambiga's house)
Now, isn't it nice when we can all just get along? All we need, is a little love (cue Barry White...)
Jason Mraz
Listen to "I Won't Give Up". Beautiful..just beautiful...
(and I hear he is coming to Malaysia soon..woo hoo!)
Lee Chong Wei's Injury- Is BAM to blame?
It may be bad luck. It may be a lack of warm up or stretching prior to the match.
But I think Dato Lee's ankle finally gave way to the weight of the hopes of an entire nation, whose burden lies squarely and solely on his shoulders. With this latest setback, so diminishes Malaysia's only chance of winning the Thomas Cup and an Olympic gold medal.
The question that I cannot seem to find an answer to is, if Dato Lee is playing past his prime (or dangerously close to it), where are the young players, who can challenge not just the top dog of Malaysia, but also compete internationally with the up and coming youngsters from China, Korea, Denmark, etc?
How many more years can we depend only on one man, to bring the country glory in the world of badminton (and sports)?
I think BAM has to start going into overdrive to try unearthing the next crop of players with talent and determination, as well as mental strength, to replace our old warhorses.
Marina Mahathir - Beacon of sense and sensibility
The daughter of a former Prime Minister, the scion of an often controversial and divisive political giant whose shadows cast far and wide upon the current administrations, and whose opinions continues to influence the political landscape of the country, Marina Mahathir has proven that while she may have inherited her father's fiery nature, she has not inherited his politics.
Her latest article in The Star is a gem. Definitely worth a read. Link is provided below.
'Innovative' forms of violence by Marina Mahathir
Malaysia Airlines (MAS) Grounded
Not quite, though turnaround plans have yet to take off due to delays in numerous operation issues and the inability to come to a common ground with the unionised employees.
With the unwinding of the share swap between the main shareholders of MAS and Airasia, it's not a stretch to say that MAS is back to square one, fighing fire on both ends, trying to increase revenues amidst a competitive industry while searching for unnecessary fat to trim.
From announcing the Voluntary Leave Program yesterday, to today's news that they will attempt to raise RM 9 billion from bonds and government assistance, it is clear that the government is not ready to throw in the towel yet when it comes to this bleeding behemoth.
I am of course raising this because of the role the government plays in the company. Setting up a Special Purpose Vehicle (SPV) company to buy aeroplanes and leasing them to MAS is obviously a method to ensure MAS's balance sheet isn't further impacted.
My question is, since the SPV will be funded by the government, hence, taxpayers' money, will they be leasing the planes to MAS at market value, or will MAS benefit from "related parties" rates? Can we as the rakyat expect that the aid (read: BAILOUT) that the Government provides to MAS at least achieves a reasonable rate of return?
My other question is this; what would the Opposition do with MAS if they comes to power, either in GE13 or in the future? Do they have the political will to pull the plug on our national carrier, or will they do what BN is doing now for fear of pissing off 20,000 voters who works in MAS?
History as a compulsory subject, but not English?
Having read P.Gunasegaram article in The Star (Making sense of history by P. Gunasegaram), I heave a sigh of relief that English is still not a priority when it comes to educating Malaysians.
It is reported that the Education Ministry is considering making History a compulsory pass for SPM, making it the second subject after Bahasa Malaysia to be accorded such status.
One wonders when will English be given the same royal treatment?
I am not complaining though.
I may not possess a perfect grasp of the language, but I do well enough, I suppose, and it has always been a plus point when compared to the many Malaysians who cannot even string a sentence together without breaking into cold sweat. I am not referring to just one particular race, for I have come across friends and colleagues from all races who brings out the inner grammar nazi in me.
DBKL, PDRM and Ambiga - All We Need Is Love
It warms the very cockles of my heart when I read that DBKL and the police have finally stepped in to cut short the planned demonstrations in front of Datuk S. Ambiga's house.
Datuk Ambiga and DBKL/PDRM, who were on opposite sides of the divide during the Bersih 3.0 rally, even managed to put their differences aside and exchange friendly tweets on Twitter in a rare public display of affection.
Ambiga tweeted “DBKL worked late into the night to clear yellow lines. Here now with police checking. Appreciate it @PDRMsia and DBKL. So do neighbours” yesterday morning.
This was the police's reply.
The police tweeted “TQ for comment. All of us need to be safe, hv peace & harmony. Appreciation & Gratitude are virtues of life.
Get a room, you two!
Read the full story here (The Star: DBKL to halt unauthorised activities around Ambiga's house)
Now, isn't it nice when we can all just get along? All we need, is a little love (cue Barry White...)
Jason Mraz
Listen to "I Won't Give Up". Beautiful..just beautiful...
(and I hear he is coming to Malaysia soon..woo hoo!)
Thursday, May 17, 2012
My Country, The Beautiful
My country is beautiful.
Can't say the same for its people though.
The action, reaction and counter-reaction of different groups of people or individuals defies logic, and common sense, most of the time.
How does it make sense, that a group of traders who allegedly lost money due to the Bersih 3.0 rally thinks that the best way to recoup said losses is to...give away burgers FREE-OF-CHARGE?
"Oh, it is a marketing ploy, to raise the awareness of the public of the local Ramli burger stands", they say.
Well, if that is the intention, can I suggest a more cost effective way to do so? Stack your burgers with 20 levels of patties, pay a bunch of college kids to line up at your stall, and tip off the local daily (as well as pray that none of your customers die of a heart attack right after finishing your burger).
Today, I read news that in response to the "not-so-financially-adept" burger stall owners (and this IS a response, regardless of what the secretary of WargaAMAN says), there will be a thosai masterclass held in front of the Deputy Inspector General of Police Khalid Abu Bakar 's residence in Ampang at the end of this month, for his unfortunate comment on why the police force chose to not get involved in the burger stall protest (his comment was along the lines of "Well, since the public objected to our dismantling of the Bersih rally, we shall refrain from dismantling the burger stalls". Juvenile, I know), as well as having this rather smug photo of him plastered all over the newspaper.
How about the setting up of a Law Academy proposed by the Minister in the PM's Department Datuk Seri Mohamed Nazri Abdul Aziz? This is clearly a retaliation against the report issued by the Bar Council during the EGM which brutally demonised the government and the police for their brutal handling of the Bersih rally.
Can't say the same for its people though.
The action, reaction and counter-reaction of different groups of people or individuals defies logic, and common sense, most of the time.
How does it make sense, that a group of traders who allegedly lost money due to the Bersih 3.0 rally thinks that the best way to recoup said losses is to...give away burgers FREE-OF-CHARGE?
"Oh, it is a marketing ploy, to raise the awareness of the public of the local Ramli burger stands", they say.
Well, if that is the intention, can I suggest a more cost effective way to do so? Stack your burgers with 20 levels of patties, pay a bunch of college kids to line up at your stall, and tip off the local daily (as well as pray that none of your customers die of a heart attack right after finishing your burger).
 |
| What a burger seller does when he confuses food with Jenga blocks. |
Today, I read news that in response to the "not-so-financially-adept" burger stall owners (and this IS a response, regardless of what the secretary of WargaAMAN says), there will be a thosai masterclass held in front of the Deputy Inspector General of Police Khalid Abu Bakar 's residence in Ampang at the end of this month, for his unfortunate comment on why the police force chose to not get involved in the burger stall protest (his comment was along the lines of "Well, since the public objected to our dismantling of the Bersih rally, we shall refrain from dismantling the burger stalls". Juvenile, I know), as well as having this rather smug photo of him plastered all over the newspaper.
 |
| "Let them come. My house is on an inclined road and their curry pots will tilt and fall. Bwahahahaha. *Evil laugh" |
This tit-for-tat has got to end someday, no?
I would suggest that instead of having the thosai masterclass in front of the DIG's house, they should hold it in front of Ambiga's house on the SAME DAY as the proposed burger stall owners second coming. During the thosai/ burger event, they should also promote the health advantage that the thosai has over the burgers. Now, this WOULD cost the burger owners some actual losses in future revenue. (Disclaimer: As a personal choice for late night supper, I would prefer burgers over thosai. My bulging tummy is a testament of that.)
While they are at it, why not demonstrate some yoga poses as well, to show that the butt flex, although an important part of the Army's training, has been outdated since the advance of yoga.
 |
| "Hey, the one at the back in white! Don't be lazy! Go all the way down!" |
Real man do yoga (and pilates)!
 |
| Let's see the Army Vets pull THIS off... |
How about the setting up of a Law Academy proposed by the Minister in the PM's Department Datuk Seri Mohamed Nazri Abdul Aziz? This is clearly a retaliation against the report issued by the Bar Council during the EGM which brutally demonised the government and the police for their brutal handling of the Bersih rally.
The minister clearly rejects the report, and is of the opinion that it is a fable concocted by the imagination of only a few nut jobs in the Bar Council, and not reflective of the majority of the members of the legal profession. Hence, the Law Academy would provide an alternative body for lawyers who disagrees with the Bar Council.
Now, I am no lawyer, but I doubt that this is neither the best nor smartest way to respond to the report. Instead of addressing the points raised in the report and rebutting them one by one, the government chooses to completely ignore it and say, we no longer recognise you as a legitimate body or association. Instead, we are going to create a new association and fill it with only people who agrees unconditionally with us, the government. If I am not mistaken, the last time someone said, "if you disagree with the way I do things, you can go f*ck yourself and play far far away" (which is essentially what Nazri meant by his proposal), the Republic of Singapore was born.
Even Dr. M waded into the debate by declaring that the Bar Council have been hijacked by partisan aspirations and is no longer independent! According to Dr. M, the Bar Council should only stick to matters of the law and not get involved in matters of politics. His concern is that other professional bodies like the Malaysian Medical Association might follow suit, hence leading to "a lot of confusion".
My question is, what about situations where politicians abuses the legal system to their advantage and human rights are trampled on by the police force? Can the Bar Council not defend the defenceless, when politics and the law are thrown together in an explosive mixture?
The Bar Council also has its own democratically elected presiding members. If there are members who are dissatisfied with the conduct of the Bar, I am sure there is a proper way to impeach the President of the Bar, through a voting process, especially if the majority of the Bar Council disagrees with him.
And on a final note, I once ranted on the inclination of the Malaysian people to write memorandums (http://wheretimeisnot.blogspot.com/2011/06/chinese-indian-or-anak-malaysia-i-ask.html). Apparently, the popularity of the memorandum have waned and have given way to the rise of the dreaded...POLICE REPORT.
Apparently, nowadays one can lodge a police report on anything.
Feelings hurt? Lodge a police report.
Slighted by the comments made by someone in the public arena? Lodge a police report.
Assaulted by the police? Lodge a police report.
Police assaulted by rioters? Lodge a...well, you catch my drift.
According to The Sun, RELA and other NGOs have lodged police report against Tenaganita's executive director, Irene Fernandez, although I do not see how what she said to an Indonesian newspaper, although controversial, had anything to do with all these bodies, just like how I am uncertain why the MACC has hauled her up for an interrogation interview.
Apparently, the only times when police reports aren't so easily lodged are times when you are involved in an accident in Puchong (and you have to travel all the way to Serdang to lodge a report) or when the case involves VVIPs.
My country is beautiful, but its people? Beautiful as in the movie A Beautiful Mind...certifiably insane.
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
Race Based Politics - A Preview
Last Wednesday, my company sponsored a table at a dinner function hosted by Malaysia's Harvard alumni community, and being the freeloader that I am, of course I weaseled for accepted the invitation.
The dinner was held at the new wing of Royale Bintang Damansara at Mutiara Damansara, and a keynote address was given by the Chief Minister of Penang, YAB Lim Guan Eng.
Besides the free food (which was mediocre, at best), I was looking forward to the speech by the Chief Minister, titled "The Future of Race Based Politics".
I had high hopes of a persuasive discourse on the extinction of governing along the racial lines, and for him to explain how the political landscape in the near future will be shaped differently. I anticipated a speech where he would seek to convince us that his party, DAP and the coalition that they have formed with Keadilan and PAS, will be a more than adequate alternative to the current Barisan government.
I was sorely disappointed.
Granted, the time allocated for him to talk could be far too limited to venture into such lofty agendas, but it would still have been more beneficial for him and the guest if he had not stuck to his usual script and rehash points of discussions which have been raised to death in all types of media such as newspapers, radios, television.
He spent the evening listing the goals that his state government have achieved and defending himself against accusations that they have sidelined the Malay populace in Penang.
It was a wasted opportunity, in my opinion.
There were distinguished guest amongst the crowd that night (and some of them did raise interesting, albeit contentious points, during the question and answer session), and he could have been more specific and dynamic in his address.
The Chief Minister's speech did however provoke an urge in me to consider my position in this whole discussion on whether our country can survive in a political system free from the shackles of race and racial sensitivities.
I will pen down my thoughts on this matter in a future post.
The dinner was held at the new wing of Royale Bintang Damansara at Mutiara Damansara, and a keynote address was given by the Chief Minister of Penang, YAB Lim Guan Eng.
Besides the free food (which was mediocre, at best), I was looking forward to the speech by the Chief Minister, titled "The Future of Race Based Politics".
I had high hopes of a persuasive discourse on the extinction of governing along the racial lines, and for him to explain how the political landscape in the near future will be shaped differently. I anticipated a speech where he would seek to convince us that his party, DAP and the coalition that they have formed with Keadilan and PAS, will be a more than adequate alternative to the current Barisan government.
I was sorely disappointed.
Granted, the time allocated for him to talk could be far too limited to venture into such lofty agendas, but it would still have been more beneficial for him and the guest if he had not stuck to his usual script and rehash points of discussions which have been raised to death in all types of media such as newspapers, radios, television.
He spent the evening listing the goals that his state government have achieved and defending himself against accusations that they have sidelined the Malay populace in Penang.
It was a wasted opportunity, in my opinion.
There were distinguished guest amongst the crowd that night (and some of them did raise interesting, albeit contentious points, during the question and answer session), and he could have been more specific and dynamic in his address.
The Chief Minister's speech did however provoke an urge in me to consider my position in this whole discussion on whether our country can survive in a political system free from the shackles of race and racial sensitivities.
I will pen down my thoughts on this matter in a future post.
Sunday, April 29, 2012
Reasons Why I Did Not Go For The Bersih Rally
Top five reasons why I did not attend the Bersih 3.0 rally:
5. I thought that it was some 1Malaysia national "gotong-royong" activity.
4. I am a Barisan Nasional supporter...until THEY start rallying, then I am a PKR supporter..
3. Yellow does not look good on me.
2. Astro was showing free channels (HBO! Fox Premium Movies!) for a week, starting from a day before the rally.
...and the number one reason why I did not attend the Bersih 3.0 rally...
1. I could not locate my Power Ranger suit.
Saturday, April 28, 2012
Self Esteem - The Voice Within
The next time you find yourself alone, whether you are just standing underneath the shower, or sitting in a parked car, listen.
Listen to what you are saying to yourself.
Throughout life, we are surrounded by people who revel in putting us down just to make themselves feel better, people who are callous with their words.
The one person who shouldn't add in to all this negativity is yourself.
You may not be aware of it, but we are constantly in a subconscious conversation with ourselves, and many times, we allow ourselves to repeat the criticisms that others level at us.
"You are not good enough"
"You are not smart enough"
"You are not beautiful or good looking"
Listen. Are these the things that you hear when you stop, and listen?
If you do, it is time you practice some positive reinforcement to boost your self-esteem and confidence.
Take the wheels of your mind and drive. Be conscious of the thoughts that you have, and when you identify thoughts that plants the seeds of self-doubt, get rid of them by telling yourself that you are good enough, that you are smart, and you look good.
In the beginning, you will find it hard to believe, or it may sound delusional, but give it time. Before long, you will discover that being happy with yourself, being confident and having a healthy dose of self-esteem will come as naturally and as effortless as breathing.
So, listen to that voice within you, and if you do not like what you hear, know that you have the ability to change it.
Monday, March 26, 2012
An Evening At The Nursing Home
There she laid, with her mouth wide open, motionless except for the slight rising and lowering of her chest, each of her limbs tied loosely to the bed frame with pieces of stained white cloth.
By the side of her bed stores her few measly belongings. Biscuits, milk powder, toothbrush. All tagged with her name. A name that I read but did not commit to memory.
At the other corner of the room was another woman, probably in her early 50s, with her full head of jet black hair looking out of place among the other residents. She was also lying on her bed, but not sleeping, just staring at the ceiling, presumably deep in thought, paying no heed at all to my friend and I.
An old man sat outside, his walking stick next to him, as he scribbles away on his newspaper, fiercely trying to maintain his dignity, his mind, his sanity, or whatever is left of it.
Another resident, afflicted with what I can only guess is Parkinson's disease, sat watching an English documentary being shown on the television.
These were the scenes that surrounded me when I accompanied a friend to visit her aged grandmother, her mah mah, at a nursing home in Petaling Jaya. I've been to children's home before, but I have never visited an old folks' home prior to this.
My friend visits her mah mah at least twice a week, taking turns with her family members to bring food, drinks, and company to the old lady. I requested that she bring me along the next time she went, and that was how I ended up spending an evening at the nursing home.
Tonight, she brought sweet potatoes and yogurt, and her mah mah was delighted with the sight of the former. She has difficulties talking and even recognising her family members, but you could sense a build up of excitement and approval when she was shown the brown starchy tuber root.
When I helped to wheel her to the dining table, my friend asked her mah mah to lift up her legs instead of letting it drag on the floor. I asked if she would prefer I put the foot rest of the wheel chair down to make it easier for her mah mah. My friend explained that getting her to lift her legs may be the only form of exercise her grandmother will have for her weaken legs muscles and knees.
Seeing my friend talking to her mah mah, holding her right hand gently while encouraging her to use her left hand to hold the spoon and feed herself, it left me with a lasting impression, how two women, separated by more than fifty years and two generations continue to bond for however long it may last.
The attempts at conversation my friend had with her mah mah would probably be the only intelligent stimuli the old lady has had the entire day.
The rest of that evening, one could only hear the sound from the television and the occasional chatter of the foreign staffs, and I suspect that the days would not be much different.
My friend used a wet towel to wipe her mah mah's face after the sweet potatoes, and banana cake softened with milk.
We left after tucking her grandmother in for the night.
Many of us don't like to be reminded of our mortality. We live our life like there is always tomorrow. The truth is, there is, but it may be a tomorrow that we are not part of.
We all tend to forget that each of us has an expiry date, and contrary to what is widely believed, this expiry date is not the day we finally pass on. No, our expiry date is the day when we start to lose our cognitive abilities, our physical functions. When all you have is the air between your lungs, that is when it is too late.
One may be lucky to live a life to a hundred, but as witnessed by myself on this fateful night, many reach an age where growing old gracefully and with your dignity intact seems like the impossible pursuit of the Holy Grail.
I was reminded of my own maternal grandmother while I was at the home, and I remembered all the morning walks that me and my siblings took with her through the shops in Damansara Uptown. She passed away fifteen years ago due to cancer, and yet my sisters, brother and I still speak of her fondly, as if she is still among the living (My sister related to me how she was recently burned by an incense stick by my late grandmother while praying, as a lesson for being "angry" at my grandmother for not helping my sister win the lottery after having a bird pooped on her).
My apologies if you are searching for a lesson in this post, for there is none to be had. No enlightenment. No morality posturing. No guilt trip to make you feel like you should spend more time with your aged parents and your loved ones.
This is a mere record of my evening spent at the nursing home. I cannot claim that I left that evening a better person, a learned man, but it is an experience that I would not forget in a haste.
Note: A huge thank you to my friend who was willing to let me publish my thoughts and observations of the intimate moments she shared with her mah mah, as well as inviting me to be part of the evening.
Faith in our generation, restored.
By the side of her bed stores her few measly belongings. Biscuits, milk powder, toothbrush. All tagged with her name. A name that I read but did not commit to memory.
At the other corner of the room was another woman, probably in her early 50s, with her full head of jet black hair looking out of place among the other residents. She was also lying on her bed, but not sleeping, just staring at the ceiling, presumably deep in thought, paying no heed at all to my friend and I.
An old man sat outside, his walking stick next to him, as he scribbles away on his newspaper, fiercely trying to maintain his dignity, his mind, his sanity, or whatever is left of it.
Another resident, afflicted with what I can only guess is Parkinson's disease, sat watching an English documentary being shown on the television.
These were the scenes that surrounded me when I accompanied a friend to visit her aged grandmother, her mah mah, at a nursing home in Petaling Jaya. I've been to children's home before, but I have never visited an old folks' home prior to this.
My friend visits her mah mah at least twice a week, taking turns with her family members to bring food, drinks, and company to the old lady. I requested that she bring me along the next time she went, and that was how I ended up spending an evening at the nursing home.
Tonight, she brought sweet potatoes and yogurt, and her mah mah was delighted with the sight of the former. She has difficulties talking and even recognising her family members, but you could sense a build up of excitement and approval when she was shown the brown starchy tuber root.
When I helped to wheel her to the dining table, my friend asked her mah mah to lift up her legs instead of letting it drag on the floor. I asked if she would prefer I put the foot rest of the wheel chair down to make it easier for her mah mah. My friend explained that getting her to lift her legs may be the only form of exercise her grandmother will have for her weaken legs muscles and knees.
Seeing my friend talking to her mah mah, holding her right hand gently while encouraging her to use her left hand to hold the spoon and feed herself, it left me with a lasting impression, how two women, separated by more than fifty years and two generations continue to bond for however long it may last.
The attempts at conversation my friend had with her mah mah would probably be the only intelligent stimuli the old lady has had the entire day.
The rest of that evening, one could only hear the sound from the television and the occasional chatter of the foreign staffs, and I suspect that the days would not be much different.
My friend used a wet towel to wipe her mah mah's face after the sweet potatoes, and banana cake softened with milk.
We left after tucking her grandmother in for the night.
Many of us don't like to be reminded of our mortality. We live our life like there is always tomorrow. The truth is, there is, but it may be a tomorrow that we are not part of.
We all tend to forget that each of us has an expiry date, and contrary to what is widely believed, this expiry date is not the day we finally pass on. No, our expiry date is the day when we start to lose our cognitive abilities, our physical functions. When all you have is the air between your lungs, that is when it is too late.
One may be lucky to live a life to a hundred, but as witnessed by myself on this fateful night, many reach an age where growing old gracefully and with your dignity intact seems like the impossible pursuit of the Holy Grail.
I was reminded of my own maternal grandmother while I was at the home, and I remembered all the morning walks that me and my siblings took with her through the shops in Damansara Uptown. She passed away fifteen years ago due to cancer, and yet my sisters, brother and I still speak of her fondly, as if she is still among the living (My sister related to me how she was recently burned by an incense stick by my late grandmother while praying, as a lesson for being "angry" at my grandmother for not helping my sister win the lottery after having a bird pooped on her).
My apologies if you are searching for a lesson in this post, for there is none to be had. No enlightenment. No morality posturing. No guilt trip to make you feel like you should spend more time with your aged parents and your loved ones.
This is a mere record of my evening spent at the nursing home. I cannot claim that I left that evening a better person, a learned man, but it is an experience that I would not forget in a haste.
Note: A huge thank you to my friend who was willing to let me publish my thoughts and observations of the intimate moments she shared with her mah mah, as well as inviting me to be part of the evening.
Faith in our generation, restored.
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
Injustice: Welfare Stopped Due To Political Affiliation
It was reported in The Sun on 5 March 2012 that Assistant Minister of Modernisation of Agriculture Datuk Mong Dagang had instructed the Welfare Department to stop welfare assistance to a handicapped person, Frusis Lebi.
According to the report his reasons for stopping welfare assistance and subsidies was "because he (meaning Frusis Lebi) is a strong Opposition supporter".
He was quoted in the same daily saying that the "welfare assistance shouldn't have been given in the first place because he can plant padi and ride a normal motorcycle like a normal person".
He allegedly wrote a letter to the Welfare Department and the Agriculture Department stating that Lebi "is against government policies and openly supported the Opposition candidate in Bukit Begunan constituency in the 2011 state elections."
In another report in the same daily, his colleague in the government Tan Sri Dr James Masing, Land Development Minister has defended Datuk Mong Dagang's actions.
Masing is quoted in the daily as saying "follow the rule of life, that is jangan lawan towkay. In any organisation, we cannot go against the boss. That is the golden rule in life which we must observe."
Now I don't know why there is not a bigger furore over these unsettling developments in Sarawak.
The fact that an elected official fails to recognise that it is the tax payers, not his political party, who funds the Welfare Department and the machinations that we call OUR government, proves one and for all the sorry state of our country's governance.
The disbursement of such welfare subsidies should not be based on the whims and fancy of a politician. Instead, it should be based on the a set criteria which is transparent and consistent in its application.
Based on what Datuk Mong Dagang allegedly wrote in his letter, it appears that the only reason given to stop the subsidies was that the welfare recipient openly supported the opposition. His subsequent defence that Lebi should not have qualified for assistance in the first place seems like an afterthought, a weak excuse.
To have the Land Minister say, "don't fight the boss because it is the rule of life" speaks volume of the way the government views themselves. Instead of being of public service to the citizens of Malaysia, they act as if they are, in Masing's own words, "bosses and towkays". From what I understand, bosses are people who usually own the organisation, i.e. the shareholders in a company. So, could this mean that Masing sees themselves as owners of Malaysia, and that we are all merely their employees? If you dare quote the "rule of life", how about the "rule of law"?
Gerhard Kocher said, "Ask not what the government can do for you. Ask why it doesn't."
In this case, the reason why it doesn't is merely because you did not cast your vote for them. By following this line of logic, students who are currently on government scholarship may also risk losing financial assistance if they dare to even speak up against the establishment. Businesses which do not toe the line of the political parties currently in power risk being sidelined in the awarding of government contracts.
I continue to use the term "government scholarships" and "government contracts" although the money that goes into the scholarships and the public contracts, belongs to us Malaysians, not the ministers or their cronies.
Do we still need any further reasons to realise that we need to demand our elected officials to be held to a higher benchmark and standard than what Dagang and Masing have exhibited in this instance?
Blessed is the country where her people sees the government and themselves as one and the same.
 |
| Datuk Mong Dagang |
According to the report his reasons for stopping welfare assistance and subsidies was "because he (meaning Frusis Lebi) is a strong Opposition supporter".
He was quoted in the same daily saying that the "welfare assistance shouldn't have been given in the first place because he can plant padi and ride a normal motorcycle like a normal person".
He allegedly wrote a letter to the Welfare Department and the Agriculture Department stating that Lebi "is against government policies and openly supported the Opposition candidate in Bukit Begunan constituency in the 2011 state elections."
 |
| The letter allegedly written by Datuk Mong Dagang |
In another report in the same daily, his colleague in the government Tan Sri Dr James Masing, Land Development Minister has defended Datuk Mong Dagang's actions.
 |
| Tan Sri Dr James Masing |
Masing is quoted in the daily as saying "follow the rule of life, that is jangan lawan towkay. In any organisation, we cannot go against the boss. That is the golden rule in life which we must observe."
Now I don't know why there is not a bigger furore over these unsettling developments in Sarawak.
The fact that an elected official fails to recognise that it is the tax payers, not his political party, who funds the Welfare Department and the machinations that we call OUR government, proves one and for all the sorry state of our country's governance.
The disbursement of such welfare subsidies should not be based on the whims and fancy of a politician. Instead, it should be based on the a set criteria which is transparent and consistent in its application.
Based on what Datuk Mong Dagang allegedly wrote in his letter, it appears that the only reason given to stop the subsidies was that the welfare recipient openly supported the opposition. His subsequent defence that Lebi should not have qualified for assistance in the first place seems like an afterthought, a weak excuse.
To have the Land Minister say, "don't fight the boss because it is the rule of life" speaks volume of the way the government views themselves. Instead of being of public service to the citizens of Malaysia, they act as if they are, in Masing's own words, "bosses and towkays". From what I understand, bosses are people who usually own the organisation, i.e. the shareholders in a company. So, could this mean that Masing sees themselves as owners of Malaysia, and that we are all merely their employees? If you dare quote the "rule of life", how about the "rule of law"?
Gerhard Kocher said, "Ask not what the government can do for you. Ask why it doesn't."
In this case, the reason why it doesn't is merely because you did not cast your vote for them. By following this line of logic, students who are currently on government scholarship may also risk losing financial assistance if they dare to even speak up against the establishment. Businesses which do not toe the line of the political parties currently in power risk being sidelined in the awarding of government contracts.
I continue to use the term "government scholarships" and "government contracts" although the money that goes into the scholarships and the public contracts, belongs to us Malaysians, not the ministers or their cronies.
Do we still need any further reasons to realise that we need to demand our elected officials to be held to a higher benchmark and standard than what Dagang and Masing have exhibited in this instance?
Blessed is the country where her people sees the government and themselves as one and the same.
Sunday, February 26, 2012
Do Ugly Babies Exist?
On lazy Sunday mornings like this, I like to just sit back, stare at the ceiling, put my hands in my pockets and ponder on some of life's most profound questions. Today, the following question has left me just a little stumped.
Do ugly babies exist?
The PC police might lobby for legislation that prohibits the criticism of a defenceless baby based on his or her appearance, but really, when has the PC police ever been bothered about universal truths when they are too busy trying not to step on any one's toes.
If one were to rid themselves of the restraints that limit free and rational thinking, one would probably agree with me that not all babies are born adorable.
Simply put, it all boils down to genes. If an ugly man marries an ugly woman, and their baby looks like a mini Brad Pitt, chances are, said ugly woman cheated on her ugly man with Brad Pitt.
For as long as I can remember, even before the advent of the Internet, there has been baby contests. Back in those days, the baby photos submitted are judged by a faceless panel of judges, and the announcement of winners are done without much fanfare.
However, when a certain Harvard dropout unleashed the "Like" button on the world, baby contests have taken on a whole new level. Case in point, a recent baby contest held in Australia, hosted by Bonds, a clothing company.
According to the Yahoo article (Australian Beautiful Baby Contest Turns Ugly), "Aussie mums were asked to send in pictures of their babies to the Bond Facebook page, but what was intended to be an opportunity to share adorable photos turned into a scathing commentary about the babies appearances".
Some comments were racists, such as one user who commented on a Eurasian baby's photo that "this is Bonds Australia, not Bonds Asia", while some were clearly written by people with no originality and probably a lack of a high school certificate, evidenced by comments such as "ugly ducking" and "a child only a mother could love".
However, parents also have to share some of the blame. If you are willing to submit your children's photos for what amounts to nothing more than a beauty contest, then you have to be prepared that your little angel may not appear to be that angelic to everyone.
One of the parents of the babies in the Bond contest was so unable to accept the fact that her baby was anything but cute lodged a police report for the offensive comments her baby photos received. I wonder how that conversation went?
Police: Maam, what seems to be the problem?
Mum: I want to lodge a report against this person for calling my precious little baby ugly! Arrest him!
Police: Maam, would you like to put that cabbage you are holding down first before you make your report?
Mum: What cabbage? This IS my baby!
Police: Sorry maam. In that case, we can't arrest someone for telling the truth.
(I was going for the police to reply, "Maam, I thought you wanted to report a rape by Shrek which led to this abomination", but I think that would be too un-PC of me. Rape is not a joking matter, no matter how funny it may be in this context.)
Let's look at it this way. When a baby is crowned as the champion in a baby beauty contest, it means that he or she is more adorable than the baby who is crowned as runners-up, who in turn is judged as more adorable than the second runners up. Flip it around, and one may conclude that the baby placed third is uglier than the runners up, and the runners up is uglier than the champion.
Based on this sequence of logic, if you put all the babies in the world in a beauty contest, comparing from one baby to the another, you will have, say it with me, UGLY BABIES!
Don't get me wrong. As a former ugly baby, I am proof that while one does not grow out of ugliness entirely, it does get easier to live with. It would have been better, though, if the adults were more forthcoming with the level of my adorableness before setting me on a life of disappointment through the baby contest circuits.
As a friend once said, "it's amazing how most babies, in the first few days after they are born, has all these wrinkles and looks like old people, but within weeks, turn into cherubic little things that you can't help but pepper with kisses all day long".
So if you are the parent of an ugly baby, don't fret. Just start putting aside a little more money for his future. Not for colleges or education, mind you, but for the sports car or the cool haircut that costs more than the budget of a third world country, that will be necessary for him or her to survive young adulthood with a mug "only a mother could love".
So, to end this rambling but thoughtful post, I leave you with a picture of the world's most disgusting baby.
Enjoy the weekend!
Do ugly babies exist?
 |
| Winston Churchill was born old. (Note: Photo on left is NOT Winston Churchill) |
The PC police might lobby for legislation that prohibits the criticism of a defenceless baby based on his or her appearance, but really, when has the PC police ever been bothered about universal truths when they are too busy trying not to step on any one's toes.
If one were to rid themselves of the restraints that limit free and rational thinking, one would probably agree with me that not all babies are born adorable.
Simply put, it all boils down to genes. If an ugly man marries an ugly woman, and their baby looks like a mini Brad Pitt, chances are, said ugly woman cheated on her ugly man with Brad Pitt.
For as long as I can remember, even before the advent of the Internet, there has been baby contests. Back in those days, the baby photos submitted are judged by a faceless panel of judges, and the announcement of winners are done without much fanfare.
However, when a certain Harvard dropout unleashed the "Like" button on the world, baby contests have taken on a whole new level. Case in point, a recent baby contest held in Australia, hosted by Bonds, a clothing company.
According to the Yahoo article (Australian Beautiful Baby Contest Turns Ugly), "Aussie mums were asked to send in pictures of their babies to the Bond Facebook page, but what was intended to be an opportunity to share adorable photos turned into a scathing commentary about the babies appearances".
Some comments were racists, such as one user who commented on a Eurasian baby's photo that "this is Bonds Australia, not Bonds Asia", while some were clearly written by people with no originality and probably a lack of a high school certificate, evidenced by comments such as "ugly ducking" and "a child only a mother could love".
However, parents also have to share some of the blame. If you are willing to submit your children's photos for what amounts to nothing more than a beauty contest, then you have to be prepared that your little angel may not appear to be that angelic to everyone.
One of the parents of the babies in the Bond contest was so unable to accept the fact that her baby was anything but cute lodged a police report for the offensive comments her baby photos received. I wonder how that conversation went?
Police: Maam, what seems to be the problem?
Mum: I want to lodge a report against this person for calling my precious little baby ugly! Arrest him!
Police: Maam, would you like to put that cabbage you are holding down first before you make your report?
Mum: What cabbage? This IS my baby!
Police: Sorry maam. In that case, we can't arrest someone for telling the truth.
(I was going for the police to reply, "Maam, I thought you wanted to report a rape by Shrek which led to this abomination", but I think that would be too un-PC of me. Rape is not a joking matter, no matter how funny it may be in this context.)
Let's look at it this way. When a baby is crowned as the champion in a baby beauty contest, it means that he or she is more adorable than the baby who is crowned as runners-up, who in turn is judged as more adorable than the second runners up. Flip it around, and one may conclude that the baby placed third is uglier than the runners up, and the runners up is uglier than the champion.
Based on this sequence of logic, if you put all the babies in the world in a beauty contest, comparing from one baby to the another, you will have, say it with me, UGLY BABIES!
Don't get me wrong. As a former ugly baby, I am proof that while one does not grow out of ugliness entirely, it does get easier to live with. It would have been better, though, if the adults were more forthcoming with the level of my adorableness before setting me on a life of disappointment through the baby contest circuits.
 |
| Baby Justin |
As a friend once said, "it's amazing how most babies, in the first few days after they are born, has all these wrinkles and looks like old people, but within weeks, turn into cherubic little things that you can't help but pepper with kisses all day long".
 |
| "He has got his dad's nose, his mum's eyes, and....his grandad's forehead?" |
So if you are the parent of an ugly baby, don't fret. Just start putting aside a little more money for his future. Not for colleges or education, mind you, but for the sports car or the cool haircut that costs more than the budget of a third world country, that will be necessary for him or her to survive young adulthood with a mug "only a mother could love".
So, to end this rambling but thoughtful post, I leave you with a picture of the world's most disgusting baby.
 |
| So fat he can breastfeed himself |
Enjoy the weekend!
Friday, February 24, 2012
The 10 Karaoke Commandments
A recent discourse with a friend on the less than savoury behaviours of people who haunts karaoke joints led to many interesting observations which I've decided would be beneficial for the karaoke community as a whole if they are known and adopted as the commandments for the religion of minus one songs.
This is in no way applicable to the dodgy karaoke joints with, ahem, paid company. In THOSE joints, as long as you have the money, no rules exist and anything goes.
Nope, these commandments are for the legitimate karaoke outlets where the only kisses you'll get are transferred via the microphones (more on that later).
And so, I give you, the 10 Karaoke Commandments:
1. THOU shalt not make out with the microphone
The microphones are shared, and it's bad enough it is covered with bacteria from orifices of strangers, but to see you stroking it gently while placing it's bulbous head on your lips while you sing? You can hold on to your slender cordless girlfriend, I'll just sit here NOT sharing your saliva.
2. THOU shalt not select songs for others
Not everyone likes Black Eyed Peas, just like not everyone likes the syrupy ballads of Jacky Cheung (although they should - he is God of Song). So while it is bearable to listen to others sing songs that you may not favour, it gets a little annoying to have others select songs that you dislike, and telling you that they chose if for you and you have to sing it.
3. THOU shalt not covet the songs selected by others
If I select a song first, even if you believe that song to be solely owned by you, too bad. I get to sing it. Hands of the microphone. However, if you are a pretty girl or good looking guy, I might share half the song with you - but if you think you are singing lead, dream on.
4. THOU shalt not select songs just to listen to the original singers sing
Go home and watch MTV or Youtube. It's cheaper.
5. THOU shalt not sit in a corner and play with that damn iPhone (forgivable if it is Blackberry)
You are paying close to a day's wages to be in the karaoke room. Similar to the previous point, if you are going to spend that time showing the world how "cool" (read: anti-social) you are, or that you think harvesting fake smurf gardens is more important than present company, you can do it from the comforts of your own home.
6. THOU shalt jump songs within reasonable limits
Due to the prevailing nature of Malaysian Timing (see "I am on my way - Concept of Malaysian Timing" ), it is inevitable that some people may come later than others. By then, the list of selected songs may be thicker than a hard copy of Wikipedia.
In such situation, it is understandable, even expected, that the latecomers will "jump" some of their songs to the front. This benefits everybody. The latecomers will not feel like they are penalised for being late (their penalty though, should be to buy everyone a round of beer), while those who were there earlier won't get tired of just singing their songs consecutively.
However, don't jump more than one song at a time. Play nice, and take turns.
7. THOU shalt change keys to suit your vocal range
Unless you are Mariah Carey, or that fat kid from Taiwan, you probably can't sing all the songs that you like to sing in their original key.
Make use of technology, and either lower the key (called a flat "♭") or increase the key (called a sharp "#"). And if you do it without anyone knowing, people will be impressed when you can hit that fake high C that Mariah is famous for.
8. THOU shalt get your booty moving when singing a Black Eyed Peas song
Imagine that you are at a funeral, and the mood is sombre, sad even, and the parlour is playing "Let's Get It Started" from their speakers.
Yup, that's how it looks like exactly (minus the presence of a dead body) when you are in a karaoke room and every one's butt is planted to the couch when uptempo songs like these are being sung. It is rumoured that there is a legendary female creature that stands on the couch and puts on a concert whenever Katy Perry's "Fireworks" is on.
Do that, and when "I'm Sexy And I Know It" is on, don't forget, "wiggle, wiggle, wiggle".
9. THOU shalt not permanently attach remote control to your hand
Use this as a general rule. Never use the remote control to browse through the outlet's entire song list before letting go. Return it to the middle of the table once you have selected approximately four to five songs, remember where you left of, and continue browsing from that point onwards when the remote has made its rounds back to you.
10. THOU shalt not "accidentally" cancel a song that's being sung halfway.
Carrying on from the previous commandment, familiarise yourself with the buttons before the lights are turned down low, so you do not "accidentally" press the Stop button.
Knowing which exactly is the Stop button will benefit you as well, because as soon as a singer says "cancel the song, I don't want to continue singing anymore," you can cancel immediately before he changes his mind. Hey, time in a karaoke room is too precious to be wasted on songs being sung half-hearted.
So, go forth and multiply, oh believers of the religion of minus-one songs. May Jacky Cheung smile upon you always.
This is in no way applicable to the dodgy karaoke joints with, ahem, paid company. In THOSE joints, as long as you have the money, no rules exist and anything goes.
Nope, these commandments are for the legitimate karaoke outlets where the only kisses you'll get are transferred via the microphones (more on that later).
And so, I give you, the 10 Karaoke Commandments:
1. THOU shalt not make out with the microphone
 |
| It's a mic, not a lollypop, or that other thing that you lick to make it firm....thread. |
The microphones are shared, and it's bad enough it is covered with bacteria from orifices of strangers, but to see you stroking it gently while placing it's bulbous head on your lips while you sing? You can hold on to your slender cordless girlfriend, I'll just sit here NOT sharing your saliva.
2. THOU shalt not select songs for others
Not everyone likes Black Eyed Peas, just like not everyone likes the syrupy ballads of Jacky Cheung (although they should - he is God of Song). So while it is bearable to listen to others sing songs that you may not favour, it gets a little annoying to have others select songs that you dislike, and telling you that they chose if for you and you have to sing it.
3. THOU shalt not covet the songs selected by others
If I select a song first, even if you believe that song to be solely owned by you, too bad. I get to sing it. Hands of the microphone. However, if you are a pretty girl or good looking guy, I might share half the song with you - but if you think you are singing lead, dream on.
4. THOU shalt not select songs just to listen to the original singers sing
Go home and watch MTV or Youtube. It's cheaper.
5. THOU shalt not sit in a corner and play with that damn iPhone (forgivable if it is Blackberry)
You are paying close to a day's wages to be in the karaoke room. Similar to the previous point, if you are going to spend that time showing the world how "cool" (read: anti-social) you are, or that you think harvesting fake smurf gardens is more important than present company, you can do it from the comforts of your own home.
6. THOU shalt jump songs within reasonable limits
Due to the prevailing nature of Malaysian Timing (see "I am on my way - Concept of Malaysian Timing" ), it is inevitable that some people may come later than others. By then, the list of selected songs may be thicker than a hard copy of Wikipedia.
 |
| Size if Wikipedia is printed out |
However, don't jump more than one song at a time. Play nice, and take turns.
7. THOU shalt change keys to suit your vocal range
Unless you are Mariah Carey, or that fat kid from Taiwan, you probably can't sing all the songs that you like to sing in their original key.
Make use of technology, and either lower the key (called a flat "♭") or increase the key (called a sharp "#"). And if you do it without anyone knowing, people will be impressed when you can hit that fake high C that Mariah is famous for.
8. THOU shalt get your booty moving when singing a Black Eyed Peas song
Imagine that you are at a funeral, and the mood is sombre, sad even, and the parlour is playing "Let's Get It Started" from their speakers.
Yup, that's how it looks like exactly (minus the presence of a dead body) when you are in a karaoke room and every one's butt is planted to the couch when uptempo songs like these are being sung. It is rumoured that there is a legendary female creature that stands on the couch and puts on a concert whenever Katy Perry's "Fireworks" is on.
Do that, and when "I'm Sexy And I Know It" is on, don't forget, "wiggle, wiggle, wiggle".
 |
| Second from left. He so fugly they put a box on his head. |
9. THOU shalt not permanently attach remote control to your hand
Use this as a general rule. Never use the remote control to browse through the outlet's entire song list before letting go. Return it to the middle of the table once you have selected approximately four to five songs, remember where you left of, and continue browsing from that point onwards when the remote has made its rounds back to you.
10. THOU shalt not "accidentally" cancel a song that's being sung halfway.
Carrying on from the previous commandment, familiarise yourself with the buttons before the lights are turned down low, so you do not "accidentally" press the Stop button.
Knowing which exactly is the Stop button will benefit you as well, because as soon as a singer says "cancel the song, I don't want to continue singing anymore," you can cancel immediately before he changes his mind. Hey, time in a karaoke room is too precious to be wasted on songs being sung half-hearted.
So, go forth and multiply, oh believers of the religion of minus-one songs. May Jacky Cheung smile upon you always.
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Good Friends/Better Enemies
Boomerang Counsellors: People who returns advices that you yourself said first.
John: I think I should stay away from Mary. I've not contacted her for the past 2 days.
John: I don't think it is going to work out, although I like her a lot. We had fun, but recently, she seems more and more distant.
Kalle: Cooling off period eh?
John: Yeah
Kalle: Hm, I think you should stay away from her.
John: ?!?!?!
John: I think I should stay away from Mary. I've not contacted her for the past 2 days.
John: I don't think it is going to work out, although I like her a lot. We had fun, but recently, she seems more and more distant.
Kalle: Cooling off period eh?
John: Yeah
Kalle: Hm, I think you should stay away from her.
John: ?!?!?!
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Valentine's Day Short Stories on Love
The following were posted on my Facebook account at various interval throughout this year's Valentine's Day.
______________________________________________________________________________
When you are dying, suddenly a lot of people loves you.
Die, and suddenly EVERYONE loves you.
The end.
______________________________________________________________________________
Lost: One male heart. May be broken. If found, please return to her. If she rejects, please dispose of said item accordingly.
The end.
______________________________________________________________________________
Breaking News: Elderly lady found dead on grave of husband of 50 years. Police ruled out foul play, suspects broken heart as cause of death. Police implore witnesses to step forward and provide information.
The end.
______________________________________________________________________________
A Valentine's Day Short Love Story for The Road: "Happy Valentine's Day, cute but sobbing girl in the car behind me, stuck together in traffic".
The end.
______________________________________________________________________________
"Woof woof woof"
"I'm sorry, Hachi, but he is never coming back"
The end.
______________________________________________________________________________
A Valentine's Day Short Storyy on Unconditional Love:
"Push push!"
"Congratulations, it's a beautiful baby boy!"
The end.
______________________________________________________________________________
Hmm..I wonder what she is doing right now.
I wonder if she misses me the way that I miss her.
I can't wait to see her in the office again tomorrow, maybe she'll wear that cute skirt that I bought her.
Maybe I'll bring her chocolates.
Hopefully, I'll get to kiss her before the day en...
"Huh?"
"Yeah honey, I love you too. I'm almost done. Don't worry, our kids can't hear us."
...where was I? Oh yeah, a kiss from her before before the day ends.
The end.
______________________________________________________________________________
When you are dying, suddenly a lot of people loves you.
Die, and suddenly EVERYONE loves you.
The end.
______________________________________________________________________________
Lost: One male heart. May be broken. If found, please return to her. If she rejects, please dispose of said item accordingly.
The end.
______________________________________________________________________________
Breaking News: Elderly lady found dead on grave of husband of 50 years. Police ruled out foul play, suspects broken heart as cause of death. Police implore witnesses to step forward and provide information.
The end.
______________________________________________________________________________
A Valentine's Day Short Love Story for The Road: "Happy Valentine's Day, cute but sobbing girl in the car behind me, stuck together in traffic".
The end.
______________________________________________________________________________
"Woof woof woof"
"I'm sorry, Hachi, but he is never coming back"
The end.
______________________________________________________________________________
A Valentine's Day Short Storyy on Unconditional Love:
"Push push!"
"Congratulations, it's a beautiful baby boy!"
The end.
______________________________________________________________________________
Hmm..I wonder what she is doing right now.
I wonder if she misses me the way that I miss her.
I can't wait to see her in the office again tomorrow, maybe she'll wear that cute skirt that I bought her.
Maybe I'll bring her chocolates.
Hopefully, I'll get to kiss her before the day en...
"Huh?"
"Yeah honey, I love you too. I'm almost done. Don't worry, our kids can't hear us."
...where was I? Oh yeah, a kiss from her before before the day ends.
The end.
Monday, February 13, 2012
G.L.A.D on Valentine's Day
An admission of writer's block. I have the desire to pen down a few thoughts about this special day, but with no outline as yet on my notepad, God knows where this post will be headed towards.
Valentine's Day is not just about one day, as many would have known by now. Nope, for many, it is an event which requires weeks of advance planning, and the repercussions of a well planned or a screwed up Valentine's Day is felt for weeks after that.
I'm not even referring to the corporations or small business owners (such as the evil horde of florists) raking in abominable profits which pays for their children's college funds and their Caribbean cruises (but since we are on this subject, flowers, chocolates and condoms should be included in the Price Control Act and Anti Profiteering Act 2011 to prevent the abuses of young horny, and hence non-rational, males everywhere).
Nope, I am referring to aforementioned horny males - especially those without a girl to spend the money equivalent to a house loan on during this day.
For those who are blissfully unattached, Valentine Day may seem like a non-event, and most single people like to show that they are okay with their current status of being "undesired", but the truth is, they start perspiring pheromones weeks ahead. The following are the stages an unattached man goes through in the days leading to D-Da..I mean, V-Day:
One month before V-Day: I've got a month to find a date for Valentine's Day. Time to stalk Facebook to see who among my friend list is still single. This should be easy. I love you Mark Zuckerberg, for conceiving Facebook.
2 weeks before V-Day: Okay okay, maybe Facebook friends list is a little too limited in scope. Time to expand my search to my Friendster friends.
1 week before V-Day: Self-doubt creeps in. What's wrong with me? I'm slightly porky and puke in my mouth at the thought of conversation with the fairer sex, but I'm sure I'm still better than that obese old man with a bad comb-over and a hot broad hanging on his arms....wait, he drives a Ferarri. I hate women.
2 days before V-Day: Maybe the Mayans screwed up, and maybe the world will end on 13 February, if I pray hard enough.
1 day before V-Day: Stupid radio stations with their constant looping of sappy love songs. Read somewhere that people know they are in love when "all the love songs makes sense". What does it mean then, when "all the love songs makes one want to hang himself like Moe does in The Simpsons every holiday season"?
V-Day: Looks longingly at the couples that walks past your windows, arms locked, tripping over each other. Resolves to improve oneself, by hitting the gym (doable), getting a six pack (doable) and stop being a weirdo (close to impossible), so that one won't remain dateless by the next Valentine's Day.
V-Day +1: Goes back to stalking girls on Facebook. Decides Friendster is a lost cause, tries to add search for Friendster female "friends" on Facebook to add them.
Happy Valentine's Day, my single friends!
Postscript:
Research has shown that single people have more sex with more partners than successfully attached or married couples, so instead of Single Awareness Day, with its S.A.D acronym insinuating a downside to being single, may I suggest G.L.A.D, which stands for Getting Laid Always Day.
Do drop me a message if you have other candidates to replace S.A.D.
Valentine's Day is not just about one day, as many would have known by now. Nope, for many, it is an event which requires weeks of advance planning, and the repercussions of a well planned or a screwed up Valentine's Day is felt for weeks after that.
I'm not even referring to the corporations or small business owners (such as the evil horde of florists) raking in abominable profits which pays for their children's college funds and their Caribbean cruises (but since we are on this subject, flowers, chocolates and condoms should be included in the Price Control Act and Anti Profiteering Act 2011 to prevent the abuses of young horny, and hence non-rational, males everywhere).
Nope, I am referring to aforementioned horny males - especially those without a girl to spend the money equivalent to a house loan on during this day.
For those who are blissfully unattached, Valentine Day may seem like a non-event, and most single people like to show that they are okay with their current status of being "undesired", but the truth is, they start perspiring pheromones weeks ahead. The following are the stages an unattached man goes through in the days leading to D-Da..I mean, V-Day:
One month before V-Day: I've got a month to find a date for Valentine's Day. Time to stalk Facebook to see who among my friend list is still single. This should be easy. I love you Mark Zuckerberg, for conceiving Facebook.
2 weeks before V-Day: Okay okay, maybe Facebook friends list is a little too limited in scope. Time to expand my search to my Friendster friends.
1 week before V-Day: Self-doubt creeps in. What's wrong with me? I'm slightly porky and puke in my mouth at the thought of conversation with the fairer sex, but I'm sure I'm still better than that obese old man with a bad comb-over and a hot broad hanging on his arms....wait, he drives a Ferarri. I hate women.
2 days before V-Day: Maybe the Mayans screwed up, and maybe the world will end on 13 February, if I pray hard enough.
1 day before V-Day: Stupid radio stations with their constant looping of sappy love songs. Read somewhere that people know they are in love when "all the love songs makes sense". What does it mean then, when "all the love songs makes one want to hang himself like Moe does in The Simpsons every holiday season"?
V-Day: Looks longingly at the couples that walks past your windows, arms locked, tripping over each other. Resolves to improve oneself, by hitting the gym (doable), getting a six pack (doable) and stop being a weirdo (close to impossible), so that one won't remain dateless by the next Valentine's Day.
V-Day +1: Goes back to stalking girls on Facebook. Decides Friendster is a lost cause, tries to add search for Friendster female "friends" on Facebook to add them.
Happy Valentine's Day, my single friends!
Postscript:
Research has shown that single people have more sex with more partners than successfully attached or married couples, so instead of Single Awareness Day, with its S.A.D acronym insinuating a downside to being single, may I suggest G.L.A.D, which stands for Getting Laid Always Day.
Do drop me a message if you have other candidates to replace S.A.D.
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